Meet Him In The Middle

In knowing Jesus is there in the space between us, stretching out his arms out to embrace us both, we just might be less inclined to fill that space with acts of violence, words of hatred, and thoughts of bias judgement.

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a simple "how-to" guide to love making from
    Matthew 18:15-20

I’m going to go out on a limb here and state, in my experience as a minister, I think I can safely say the church is not always the best place for people.

I say that simply because it’s run by humans, and humans tend to screw things up.

If we so-called higher intelligent begins do anything spectacular, it’s finding new ways to take a good thing and making it bad. And yes, that includes the church.

​Sometimes, it’s the ministers fault. Other times, it’s someone in the congregation. More often than not, it’s a deadly combination of both.
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Some of the messes I’ve seen and have had to endure at my first two churches is enough to make the most faithful person walk away for good. No wonder so many people are actually leaving this whole thing behind.

In the last church I served, there was someone who made my job impossible to do. It was killing my spirit to continue to do what God had called me to do. Knowing what I was going through emotionally and spiritually, a concerned friend put me in touch with someone who had just experienced a very similar situation.

That person was Rev. Dawn. In that space between Los Angeles and Terra Haute, God met us in our pain and anguish. And led us to a place of joy and flourishing. This is the place we call Anamesa. The sacred and holy space where God comes to reconcile our hearts and tend to our wounds.
 
Today’s reading comes from a place in Matthew’s gospel, where Jesus gives us some pretty basic things to know about being the church. Things like be humble as a child, be caretakers for one another, don’t do anything that would be a stumbling block to someone’s faith, forgive one another endlessly and look out for those who have strayed away or gotten lost.
 
In the middle of this list, Jesus offers up this “how-to guide” for reconciling with someone in the church who has wronged you. Here's what he had to say:

“If your brother or sister sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If you are listened to, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If that person refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church, and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a gentile and a tax collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”                                          Matthew 18:15-20

It’s easy to imagine why this passage is so popular among new churches as they develop their polity and practices. Like I said, the church is made up of humans which means there will be conflict and disagreements.

Although I’m sure Jesus wishes that didn’t happen, he doesn’t pretend it won’t. So he gives us this short check list to help us deal with the issue when someone in the church does or says something hurtful.

Step one, use direct and respectful communication to the person who has offended you. Don’t go to five or six of your closest friends and talk behind his or her back. Instead, engage in dialogue with that person one-on-one and let them know what they did.
 
If that conversation does not yield good fruit, go to step two. Try again with a small group to make sure there isn’t misinterpretation or gaslighting. If there is still no progress, then move on to step three which is invite the entire church community to search for a solution.
 
There’s no guarantee that this will work perfectly, or at all. The times I caught an employee at my last church spreading damaging lies and rumors about me, I applied these first three steps.

​When all our efforts failed to produce any changes of behavior, I was ready to implement the fourth and final step where Jesus says, “When all else fails, treat that person like a Gentile and a tax collector.”

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 Up until that point, I believed this meant I had permission to fire and shun, and even excommunicate this troublemaker. Since our church polity didn’t allow me to do that, I was forced to leave the congregation I loved in order to save my reputation.

​This destroyed my heart, my faith, and my security. But did nothing to change the behavior of the other person because it happened again with the next minister.
 
Having spent the next couple of years nursing my wounds here in what I have come to call Anamesa, I realized I’d misunderstood this passage and Jesus completely. I mean, look at how Jesus treated gentiles and tax collectors.

He never shamed or shunned them. Instead, he loved them and heaped mercy and grace upon them. He invited them to share in his ministry, like he did with Matthew, the tax collector turned Apostle.
 
Jesus always interacted with others and welcomed everyone with an open and loving heart. Even those who betrayed and killed him. This can be hard to do when you are hurting, frustrated, and angry like I was. And yet, in the same passage I was using to judge someone, Jesus was telling me to treat that person with loving kindness because they too are made in God’s image.
 
Jesus’s mission was all about reconciliation – which is the entire point of Christmas and Easter stories. At every turn, Jesus extended himself graciously to all people. He never gave up on a person, never stopped reaching out to them with loving awareness. He always gave, and continues to give, grace upon grace to help us restore all that we have damaged and broken.
 
Jesus knows what humans are capable of. And he still loved us, no matter what. He also knows what God is capable of; believing there’s enough room in God’s heart for every human soul to flourish.

I think he believes there’s room in our hearts as well. Perhaps that’s why he sends us out into Anamesa to love God, love others, and serve both. And to do so in his name. “For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”
 
That’s Anamesa in a nutshell. Being with the divine in the space between. It took having my heart and faith busted open to realize this. I had become blinded by my own frustration and pain that I couldn’t see how Jesus was there this whole time holding space between me and my offender.

Jesus is the one who stands in the space between heaven and earth, redeeming and restoring us; making us whole and complete with God and with one another.

Realizing this was a game changer for me. Not only did it help me find my peace but it helped me forgive those who had been a stumbling block to my faith. 

Knowing Jesus is standing between you and the person who wronged you, how might that change the way you act or react towards them?

How will it change the way you speak or think?

How will it change the way you pray?
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We can’t control how others behave towards us. But we can control how we show grace and love, and forgiveness towards them.

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Now here’s another thing I realized seeing this passage with new eyes. By my faith alone, I am the one who invites Jesus to dwell among us. Same is true with your faith.

 In knowing he is there stretching out his arms out to embrace us both, we might be less inclined to fill that space with acts of violence, words of hatred, and thoughts of bias judgement. 
 
Knowing that Jesus is everywhere our we are, should encourage us to seek and support a more just and fair society where those who are lost or marginalized and shunned have a real place at God’s table.

The way I see it, Jesus isn’t only giving us instructions to help us reconcile with others. He’s showing us a way to live in harmony with one another as well.
 
To know and see and act with Jesus in the space between is to discover, as Kellan Day so beautifully captures, “how the human and the divine collide, the earthly and the heavenly kiss.”
 
She goes on to write, “Our reconciliation serves a greater purpose; it will help us to learn to stand one another long enough that we might recognize Christ in one another’s faces. We are given this work so that we don’t give up on each other, and thus, give up on the body of Christ.”
 
At the end of the day, if we can’t forgive and reconcile like Jesus does, then how can we ever claim to be part of his holy body.

Just as heaven and earth dwell in the person of Jesus, so too must humanity and divinity dwell together in us, in Anamesa; where our earthly lives are graced with the presence of God, who is reconciling all things to one another and to God’s very self.
 
It only takes two or three gathered in Christ’s name to be his church, where he is truly present. And so it is the Christ who calls out to us to meet him in the middle, to see and recognize this sacred space for what it is.

​A sanctuary where God comes to us in flesh and blood to love on us – whether we deserve it or not.
 


​Work Cited:
Bartlett, David L and Barbara Brown Taylor, eds. Feasting on the Word Year A, Vol. 3 (Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 2011).
Day, Kellan. Reconciliation. September 4, 2023. (Accessed on 09-08-2023)