I Look In the Mirror And Who Do I See?

​"Your true identity is as a child of God. This is the identity you have to accept."
​-Henry Nouwen

I am getting old. I can tell. I hair, or what's left, is a different color than what it used to be. A little more silver. I also haven't been to the gym in 11 days now and all the hard work from the previous weeks...all gone as if I never knew gyms existed. My bones ache when get up in the morning. And I groan out loud more than I used to even though I really don't have much to groan or grip about...except those loud kids and their rap music. But that's a different post.

Over the last five decades of my life, I have experienced all sorts of massive changes - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I feel as if my waistline isn't the only thing that has grown in the process. If someone said I could go back in time and start over again, I would probably pass on the invitation.

This life has been good and I have learned a lot. Some days I like who I am, and other days I can't believe who I am or what I've become. But I would be lying if I said there weren't those days when I actually hated myself and what has happened to me.

I have learned this is just all part of the rollercoaster of life. Up and down emotional ride that is slow climb in some places and a fast descent in others. There are twist and turns that knock me around. And I am learning to embrace the dizziness and nausea that comes with age.  I know when I get down on myself all I really need to do is settle into my breathing and gratitude. Sometimes I even have to simply sit down with my fears, or worries, or whatevers, and be hospitable to them. Give them some time to express themselves before I ask them to leave. 

Age has taught me so much. I guest that old adage is true, "with age comes wisdom." Embracing the changes in all forms of my life is a daily task, that I must be mindful of so when I look in the mirror I see more than just an aging old punk rocker, or a father beaten down by time. I see who I am and what really defines me. It's not my age or my wisdom, my joy or my sorrow, my confidence or my fear...it's my place in the divine energy we call love.

Henri Nouwen writes this about who we really are, and what that might mean to the way we see ourselves, and others. As well as the way live our life, and love others. We are beloved children of God. It's that simple. If anything, his words help me change my point of view when I look at my tired self in the mirror every morning. I hope you will be encouraged as well. 

Here is what Nouwen had to say in a piece entitled Accept Your Identity as a Child of God.

​"Your true identity is as a child of God. This is the identity you have to accept. Once you have claimed it and settled in it, you can live in a world that gives you much joy as well as pain. You can receive the praise as well as the blame that comes to you as an opportunity for strengthening your basic identity, because the identity that makes you free is anchored beyond all human praise and blame. You belong to God, and it is as a child of God that you are sent into the world."