Matt, and Rachel his wife, are both fans of the cartoon Futurama. As am I. The illustration is from a scene in a particular episode where an arm gets torn off but they use the severed limb to reach out to the other person…whose arm gets ripped from its body. And the two limbs float away into space holding hands throughout eternity. Why? “Because marriage is supposed to last, right?” Yes.
Matt’s savory. Rachel is sweet. He’s a chef. She’s a baker. They are both trying to make it in their careers and more importantly in their newlywed stage of life. Matt started baking when he was five. By ten he was cooking. “I wasted $55,000 in culinary school.” I told him I wasted $75,000 in seminary. Like our passion for cooking, his sarcasm matched mine. Truth is we both do what we love to do. And while I’m being truthful, here’s the real story. I can’t tell you. I’m not allowed to. In fact, my $75,000 education led to an ordination that forbids me from disclosing what is confessed to me. Within the first five minutes of our conversation, Matt was sharing his heart because “it’s easier to talk to a total stranger. I’ll never see you again.” And talk we did. We had much more in common than cooking, cartoons and sarcasm. Matt drives past this park every day but has never stopped. In fact, he left the house needing to “get away.” He walked one mile, to a place he’d never been. And had no idea what he would find. We talked. We teared up. And at the end we hugged. It’s strange how comfortable we allow ourselves to be with strangers. If only we could always be that way with those we love. But sometimes you have to put yourself out there in order to find what’s already inside you. I walked away finding something deep down inside me. My own calling might not be how I expected it, but boy was I grateful I spent that all that money so I could be there for him. I gave Matt my business card – which was a miracle I had my wallet with me and there was a card in it. I don’t know if he will call or continue our conversation. Until then, I’m thinking I need to get a tattoo of a severed arm just in case our limbs cross again in this strange universe we live in.
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There is no way I would ever be able to tell you all that she said. For some reason we were brought together, and that reason was for her to work out some stuff that had been weighing on her heart for a long time. A shift in career. A new path in life. Understanding herself and learning to love who she is. Her desire to help others feel better about themselves. Dreams. Aspirations. Recovery and growth. You know, all the light chit-chat one has with a total stranger.
The conversation was too easy and hit very close to home. It reminded me of my own spiritual journey; including many path’s I had already wandered upon. Perhaps that’s why I was drawn to talk to her. Although, at the end of our talk I told Liz that I felt like I might have to go meet someone else because our ships passing was bound to happen with or without this challenge. But when I told her she was the 11th person I had met, she cheerfuly blurted out, "I'm the eleventh on the eleventh." Pythagoras, the ancient Greek philosopher, believed all numbers have a diferent vibrational properties. From him we get the concept of numerology. And in numerology, the number 11 is a "master number" and when paired together (11:11) it means your spiritual guides are trying to contact you. Thus, being number 11 on the 11th is a spiritual awakeing happening and that you are on the right path and your actions are aligned with your soul's purpose. To think KNOWvember was the doorway to which we both experienced some spiritual growth. Again, more light chit-chat between strangers. Like the Yew Tree tattoo on her leg, we moved between conversations of life and death. Juxtaposed with the zombie tattoos, I couldn't help but be amazed at the irony. The Yew Tree is often found in graveyards as their roots dig deep in wide in search of corpses to feed on. They are also poisonous and deadly to anyone living. Yet hidden in the twisted root system, the artist hid the trinity – a symbol of the divine dance of life. Of all her ink, I would say this was the perfect symbol of who Liz really is. As she watches her old self is die away, she dances in the ups and downs of life as best as she is able. Even though she is not sure if she would fight or simply give up during the Zombie Apocalypse, this 33-year-old bartender from Santa Barbara is very sure that her life needs to be lived now. I am blessed and grateful she lived a small part of it with me.
Born and raised in Atlanta, Nakia is a screenwriter. She is part of a creative group called Damn Write Originals. Their content is all over YouTube and other online outlets. Trained in media arts, screenwriting and filmmaking are in her blood. There’s nothing else she’d rather do than that…except maybe find a creative outlet in hair or nails. But that’s a whole different story.
Like me, Nakia loves a good story. And one in particular that she told me she actually doesn’t remember. Instead she has relied on the pictures in her phone to piece it all together. It happened while she was studying abroad in Ghana. During the Easter break she was at a spring festival, enjoying many “cultural” experiences. Henna tattoo’s, beaded jewelry, and “wheat cakes.” The latter being something no one had heard about. As it turns out, her understanding of the Ghana dialect wasn’t as good as she thought. It was not “wheat” but “weed” as in marijuana. Nakia had never smoked pot much less eaten it. And not just one slice, but three. And yes, three days later she emerged from the fog. “Like in the movie the ‘Hangover,’ I went to my phone to see what happened.” She met a man with a machete chopping coconuts, visited a waterfall and a few other places that she wished she had an actual memory of. But she has the story. And to a screenwriter, what more do you need. I was in the middle of my daughter's birthday party so I cut our time short. I loved her stories and really enjoyed meeting Nakia. While we talked I spotted Bill from Day Two. I'm not so sure it's the Elm that wants to be noticed, but it's the tree that leads people to me...so I guess I'll go back to to be pelted on the head with acorns.
David was known as the sweet psalmist of Israel. A man after God’s own heart. David knows God’s nature. He was in awe God. Despite his shortcomings, David sought to do right by God as a way to testify to God’s glory. So it’s no surprise the first thing he sings is:
“Give thanks to the Lord. Call upon God’s name. And make God’s deeds know among all people.” These are three great imperatives that I believe shape our own worship of God. The first is ‘give thanks to God.’ While it sounds almost like a commandment, this exhortation is our reminder of where our focus of gratitude belongs. On the Lord and all that God has done for us. I want you to take a moment and think about something your grateful for today. How does it make you feel? And how do you show it? I asked this question at an assisted living facility and nearly everyone said the same thing. The first thing they do when they wake up is to pray thanking God that they woke up. We often overlook the obvious, like breathing, gravity, and good art. I am grateful for the gift of life that is Colleen and for the love which she was created from 15 years ago. I am grateful God has chosen to make our home a holy space for people to worship in God’s presence. I am grateful to have my voice and the ears who are willing to hear what I have to say. I met a man who, since childhood, has recited an ancient tribal prayer that had been passed down through his Locanda ancestors. He begins each day saying, “Spirit, I thank you for my first breath, and for the knowledge that every breath I take after this is my responsibility to reveal your truth through me.” What a powerful way to start your day, centered in gratitude for the gifts you’ve been given and accepting the responsibility to use them More than just being grateful, giving thanks to God is a great way to check in with God on a daily basis. Our God is relational and loves to connect with us. We have all the time in the world for binge watching, hanging out with friends, or zoning out on Instagram. But when God wants to share some of our time we balk. We should be grateful that God wants to be with us. God wants to have a relationship with us. The incarnation is a powerful reminder so that God was willing to become one with us through Jesus, so we could have a face to relate to. I’m grateful for that! Social scientist have proven that living in gratitude builds better relationships, improves physical, mental and emotional health, and builds confidence and self-esteem. It actually helps us sleep better, and who doesn’t want that? If living in gratefulness can have that affect on your life, imagine the transformation that can happen when you call upon God’s name – the second imperative in this verse. Although he wasn’t always good at it, David made it his goal to make God his number one priority. He called on the Lord constantly. He sought God’s council. Pleaded for God’s help in matters big and small. As a result, David dwelt in the rich presence of God’s glory. His story is similar to Abraham, Isaac, Samuel, Jeremiah, Jesus, Paul, and so many other saints who have experienced the transformative power of God’s glory simply by calling out to God. It could be a morning prayer, or just an ongoing conversation you have with God while driving to work. Another thing I am grateful for is the car phone…because I can talk out loud to God without looking crazy to the other drivers. I don’t think it matters how you do it, or what you say, God just wants to hear from you. I have found that when I speak my problems out loud, I am able to deal with them better than if I stuffed them deep inside me. When I speak them out loud with God, I am inviting God to help me through them. God wants to help you through those tough situations or difficult challenges you might be facing. As C.S. Lewis said, “Prayer doesn’t change God. It changes me.” Just as it is with gratitude, we need to give God a call at least once a day. Not only does it help turn the ritual of prayer into a relational conversation but it keeps us aligned with God’s will. Even if we falter from time to time. Calling on the name of God keeps the connection between your heart and God’s heart moving in one continuous flow. When our hearts are connected to God, we find our inner peace; we receive a deeper understanding of who we are and the relations we have with God and others; and we develop a more accepting and loving spirit. We become a living testimony of God’s grace and love. The third imperative in this verse. I don’t know if it’s because of where we live, or the time in which we live in, but it seems to me there is a greater and growing reticence among Christian people to share their faith in public. It’s almost as if we’re embarrassed of our faith, or by what God has done for us. Just yesterday, while meeting someone for my KNOWvember challenge, the person opened up about his faith, and his failures in it. When I asked him why he felt comfortable sharing those things with me, he said, “because you’re a minister, non-believer can’t understand.” All the more reason to let the world know that God is worth knowing. Imagine a world where people felt free to talk about God and share their faith – without shame, or fear of judgment. We have no problem spewing our political beliefs, or our opinion on a movie or celebrity. But when it comes to sharing our beliefs in God or our Christian faith we just clam up. It’s not easy to share something as personal as faith, but how else will people come to know God’s glory, or find the love God has for them? Today also marks the 50th anniversary of the first episode of Sesame Street. For 50 years they have been proclaiming God’s will in the most creative, and unintentional ways. Sounds crazy, but watch an episode and you will see the ways they teach us to love and care for each other. Wasn’t that Jesus’s message? If a big yellow bird can teach us how to be hospitable, kind, gracious and joyful, then so can you. If Oscar the grouch can teach us how to lament or be more accepting of who we are, then we can teach others as well. You see, talking about God doesn’t mean reciting bible verses to win a dogmatic argument. King David did it with poetry and song. Jesus did it in the way he loved and forgave others. For Paul it was preaching and in his letter writing. To borrow from St. Francis, preach the gospel –use words only when necessary. How could you proclaim the good news without saying a word? The prophet Micah said, “What does God want from us but to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly.” John Piper teaches us that, “God calls us to enjoy continual consciousness of Divine greatness and beauty and worth.” This takes a daily, conscious effort to set our mind’s attention and our heart’s affection on God. When we set our minds in God’s mind, we can do the will of God without fear or trepidation. When we set our hearts in God’s heart each day, we can revel in God’s love and peace always. When we testify to God’s great glory, our life and every life around us, can’t help but be transformed and rejoice. So to borrow from David’s psalm, I leave you with this challenge: “Seek the Lord and God’s strength. And seek God’s presence always.” For there is no better way to worship God.
Benjamin is an artist. In fact, he is a very talented painter – the kind with no formal training outside some art classes in high school. He was quick to pull up his Instagram account and show me his vast portfolio of paintings and illustrations. Having gone to art school, I was jealous of his ability to paint portraits that truly captured the soul and character of the subject. It was obvious that painting is something he loves to do.
I would argue that his greatest work of art was Ade, who had stopped petting my dog to climb and teeter on the bleacher behind us. He watched us as we watched him. As a father, my blood pressure was rising as he ran back and forth, and up and down the seats. But Benjamin was cool. His parenting style, like his painting style, was very natural. His greatest surprise (so far) about being a father was something i knew all too well. “I never thought I could cry like that” he said talking about the delivery. We never do. We don’t realize how powerful of an emotion love is until we experience love unconditionally. We both discovered early on that there’s more to parenthood then love. It takes work, chasing and catching and lifting up and fixing things and being there as much as you can when you’re not painting or holding down two jobs to make ends meet. Benjamin grew up learning to navigate between parents and their respective homes. He wants to give Ade a more stable life. “I want him to be more than just happy. I want him to be ready for the world. If he needs to hunt, I want him to know how to hunt. If he needs to fish, I want him to know how to fish.” A self-taught artist, and a self-taught dad. Like Freddy before him, Benjamin began to ask me questions. He was not taken back when I told him I was a minister. The church was a familiar place for him. But eventually he left it when “what the bible said didn’t always align with what he was going on in the church.” Another thing we had in common. We also both agreed that when we “do good things, things turn out good. But when I don’t neither does life.” A self-taught artist, dad and philosopher – that’s Benjamin. As for Ade, I suspect he will have a bunch of stuff in common with his dad too.
Having spent his career as a professional TV editor and producer, Peter had no problem with me asking him a bunch of random questions. Born in southern Louisiana, Peter is not your typical southern boy. Born into “a more privilege family” Peter is grateful that his parents supported his dream of going west to film school. After graduating he began working on a new TV show, the Golden Girls.
While editing one particular episode – when Rose fears that a blood transfusion she had several years ago my have contained HIV infected blood – Peter was caught off guard when Blanche told Rose, “AIDS is not a bad persons disease.” In shock and relief Peter began to cry in the edit bay. He and his partner had the disease. And feared all the stigma that went with it. Because one of America’s sweethearts had said that, Peter felt emboldened to come out of the closet. He was tired of the lies and shame that came with his southern upbringing. His plantation, slave-owning heritage was not very open minded to homosexuality. He believes that being the youngest of six children, his parents had been soften (or worn down). Peter was not a bad person. His long-time partner at the time died from the disease the same year my last friend died. In 1995, just around the time the lifesaving drug “cocktail” made it possible to save the lives of millions, including Peter. While Peter did many crazy things in his life, both good and really bad, he believes he has evolved through them. Grateful for the privilege and family he was given, Peter takes after his father, a philanthropist and taught him to always give back. Some of the ways Peter gives back is working as an animal rights advocate – something he learned while working with Jacque Cousteau. Today, he and his partner have five dogs – each one a rescue. Rocket is their 29th one. When I asked him what is the most difficult thing about rescuing dogs, he said “weighing the financial costs of medical treatment. Is a $5,000 surgery necessary if it means I can rescue another dog.” As we were talking more dogs show up and circle Peter to say hello. They seem to like him, like everyone else. So I think it’s safe to say he is not bad people.
I asked him what that was like to be so far away from his wife and child. He said it wasn’t too bad. They had built a compound that housed over 50,000 people from all over the world. It was winter so there wasn’t much fighting. And the only thing he really didn’t like were the sand storms that constantly blew through.
Trained for combat, this Marine worked in the media department as a war photographer. He also spent time in Washington DC and the White House doing “media related stuff” like State Dinners and Funerals. His dress blues got a lot of use. But today, it was a black Marines t-shirt and athletic shorts. Working as a recruiter now, Jacob spends his mornings and afternoons at the local park making sure the next group of soldiers are ready for boot camp. His friendly smile, gentle demeanor, and inquisitive curiosity will certainly help Jacob reach his goal to one day run for office. But tonight, it was about making sure others could run to their full potential. There is something to be said about a person who takes the time to make sure others succeed. He began with himself, and wanting to succeed in something that would be both meaningful and true. Such good wisdom from such a young man. He might be training furture Marines but he offers us all a good lesson in that we all have the potential to be a hero to those in our communities who need a little help to succeed.
So here’s the story…of three lovely ladies…two who were bringing up their children on their own. They were three gals, at a business meeting, but the youngest one had pearls. Then came our story… of a man named Brenden… who brought me there to meet two bro of his own. They were frat brothers I called the el Ocho Locos... and they seemed all alone. When one day the ladies met these fellows. And it turned into much more than a lunch. There was laughing… and telling stories…and that’s what happened at the Brady Brunch! The cast of characters: Brenden: brother in law…I already knew him…but he has 2 kids who I adore. Eric: works in Real Estate and loves the L.A. Kings. His daughter lives in Paris and his son plays for the Jr. Kings hockey team. Piero: a music industry executive who has just started a new record label and management company. We had mutual friends. Eden: the daughter of a famous hair product magnet is the mother of two kids in Jr. High. She had tattoos…because I seem to only meet people who are inked. Sally: a divorcee raising two teenage girls on her own. Her story is amazing but perhaps too long or too private to share. Jessica: she was the youngest in the group. At 32, she is being pressured by her Persian in-laws to begin having babies. Married just two years ago, she is in no hurry. And of course no Brady Brunch episode would be complete without Alice…who was me! It was a great show, filmed live in front of an audience, that ran way over its scheduled time. The ratings were great. But I’m sorry to say you will not be able to binge watch its re-runs.
Jennifer is a fitness instructor. And not your run of the mill type either. Taken her years of experience as an exotic dancer (a.k.a stripper) Jennifer has turned it into aerobic workout - teaching pole dancing classes to people of all ages. She has some as young as teenagers and people as old as me, women and men, who want to build up their core muscles and stretch their comfort zones a bit. "Dancing, yoga, palates, and hiking is where I find my peace." As a sales representative in the cannabis industry, one could say Jennifer helps all sorts of other people find their peace. We talked allot about the legalization laws, pot shops, and the underground drug world. She does not use her products and believes, "There are a lot of people who shouldn't be using them" either. But I was more interested in getting to know Jennifer. When I asked her to tell me a story that she would only tell a stranger, she said “I just did. My family doesn't know what I do, or what I used to do.” She smiled with me when I told her how I thought it was funny that people are willing to share their intimate stories with me. Jennifer knew exactly what I was talking about. "At the clubs, men would always confess some of the craziest things to me" (none I care to mention here). “Like your project, people would just unload their secrets on me because they just assume that they will never see me again.” I eventually told her people like to confess to me, but for different reasons. Then I confessed to her about what I do. She didn't judge me. I didn't judge her. This conversation reminded me how messed up we have made life. It seems the people we see all the time we hardly know, but we have no problem getting to know the ones we we’ll never see again. Imagine whatour world might be, or look like, if we reversed that. Maybe it might be our dogs who would be standing around watching us chase each other the park. For 16 years I have walked past a beat up, old caravan parked in a driveway of a house around the block from my house. For sixteen years a faded orange electrical cord has run from the garage to the side of the vehicle. For at least 16 years, a small air conditioning unit has worked overtime; drawing in the fresh air and coughing out the stale air of cigarettes and life. And for 16 years I have walked, driven, skated, or rode my bike past and inhaled that smell, recalling the cheap hotels of my youth. For 16 years I have wanted to know the story behind that camper. For 16 years I have wanted to know who lived there, and why. And for 16 years I would look for any signs of life, any comings or goings, and this whole time I never give up hope. Recently I began to see the garage door open and a pint-sized man doing some wood-working project. Or re-wiring something that looked like something someone threw away because it needed rewiring. Because his back was always turned towards the sidewalk. The opportunity of saying hello never seem to materialize. Until today. And there was no way I was going to let another 16 years go by.
Highland was working on modifying his Ford Explorer by putting in a 110 jack in the trunk when I just randomly asked him he had a biscuit joiner for a stool I needed to repair. He didn’t. But then he asked me if I had a hex key to fit a certain size bolt. I didn’t. He had a very strong grip for a 66-year-old who chain smoked and (I’m guessing) drinks a lot. And I “had an unusual name too,” he stated after we met. He was modifying his vehicle for when he goes camping to look at the stars. He belongs to an amateur telescope group that gets him out in nature. “Kid’s today spend too much time on their heads in their damn phones and not sticking their nose in the beauty in the world. They’ve forgotten how to use their imagination.” Ironically, when my kids when they were little, they used to look for fairies and elves in the small overgrown garden next to his caravan. Just as technology has changed them, so too has time altered that garden and the gnome who lived next door. With his elf-like features, I thought for a moment if Highland had anything to do with the fairies’ demise. In a weird way, meeting Highland was like meeting a mythical character or at least someone famous. I did my best to keep my composure and not ask a bunch of personal questions. Instead I asked Highland where he learned about motors and electrical work. He cracked a three-tooth smile and shyly chuckled, “I guess you just know.” Seemed like a fitting answer for KNOWvember, you know. While I wanted to tell him all about the challenge, I didn’t want him to think that it was the reason why I stopped. I wanted to know him. I had waited 16 years for this moment. This challenge just provided for me a way into the secret garden of his world. My kids no longer believe in or chase after fairies and elves. But I am curious how they might respond to learn I actually found one. And not just anyone, but the one in the caravan that we’ve spent a lifetime talking wondering about. |
Ian MacdonaldAn ex-copywriter turned punk rock pastor and peacemaker who dedicates his life to making the world a better place for all humanity. "that they all might be one" ~John 17:21“Prius vita quam doctrina.”
~ St. Thomas Aquinas (1225–1274) * “Life is more important than doctrine.”
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