Tall and lean, I figured him to be an actor. He has “the look.” His mom is Italian-Irish and his dad just Irish. I say that because James has very distinct features, like a strong jaw and cheekbones, and a Roman/Irish nose. But it is his eyes and smile that are warm and welcoming. So, you see why someone might mistake him as an actor.
Turns out, he’s a chef. A chef! I told him I met a sushi chef two days ago – he was more impressed with the man’s qualifications than me meeting him. “Those guys have more training than a surgeon.” I did not get where James trained but he has worked as a chef in Miami, Florence and Naples (Italy), and Los Angeles. While his mom taught him Italian, he quickly became fluent when he worked in Italy. He also speaks Spanish, English and Jersey Boy (I guess only because he's from the Jersey Shore). I thought it was interesting that he trained Massimo in “Span-talian.” I do not have any proof, but going by what I was seeing his dog try to do to my dog, I suspect Massimo fancies himself a Latin lover. Eventually, Cali had enough of his “intimate” and "mounting" nature, and eventually she snapped to make her point. By this point James was also done talking and had to get to work. I felt like I didn’t get to know him like I wanted to. In fact, I wanted to ask him to give me some hints on what to fix for dinner. I have chicken breast and would like to do something different. But I digress. This isn’t about me, it’s about James. Earlier in the day I was picking avocados off our tree and thought about how God is like an avocado. They take time to ripen. You could try to eat it fresh off the tree, but you wouldn’t really get the full effect of all its greatness. Most likely you will go away unsatisfied or may not try again. God is hard to understand at first too. But once you sit with God for a while the fruit will ripen before you know it and you will really enjoy the full goodness of God’s love and grace. I like to think James is like an avocado. I have to look up to find him. And I will have to wait patiently until I see him again to get more information. Until now, I need a neck message.
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There is so much more to Dwayne though. As far as I know he is the first person I’ve met who has been shot seven different occasions, was been hit by a truck at full speed, and survived a "hit" in prison. He has plates in both knees. Screws in one leg. Wires in his neck. Scars on his face. And a bullet still inside his body. And...he is also hates the L.A. Clippers because growing up his whole life in L.A. meant he's a "purple and solid gold" Lakers fan.
Did I mention that the only reason Dwayne spoke to me was when I told him who I was and what I am actually attempting of doing by talking with him? Once he found out I was a minister (or not a cop, warrant officer, or someone serving him papers or repossessing his car) Dwayne wouldn’t stop talking. In fact, the only time he wasn’t talking to me was when a voice would come out of his cell phone to ask him a question. I had not realized that Dwayne was on hold with his doctor’s office trying to get his medicine refilled. I would come to discover that he was a ‘soldier’ (ministry member) of the Salvation Army. It’s been a part of his life for most of his life. His good friend who he went into the program with has gone on to be a pastor. Apparently, Dwayne doesn’t have a problem talking with strangers or about his faith, which he apparently likes to do with me using some very color words. You know the kind of words people don’t often scream out loud at CVS...unless they are Cortney Love or have Tourette’s. His dad used to say “You think you know who you are, but you don’t. You think you know where you been or what you can do, but you don’t. You don’t know nothing because you don’t know what’s next. The only way to find out who you are and what you can do is to get up every damn morning and see what God has planned for you.” Even though he wasn't about to get up tomorrow morning and take up the whole meet 30 people in 30 day challenge Dwayned told me that he like the idea. He added, “You think you know your neighbors, but you don’t.” (Sounds like something his dad would say.) What caught me off-guard about this statement was the story that followed. When Dwayne was in prison the guy in the cell next to his tried to kill him. For some reason there was a hit on him. “It was nothing more than the politics inside the system. You pick sides. He picked the other side.” After he was released, he actually moved on the same street as that guy. Not only did they become neighbors, but today they remain good friends who have one another’s back. He's right, we think we know the people in our neighborhoods and communities. But we really don’t. That’s what makes this thing so rewarding. It’s a pain in my butt to go up to meet someone, especially on those days when I really don’t want to. But the only way to get to know a person or what their story is all about is to get up every damn morning and meet them. Some sage advice. Despite my trepidations, I get up and meet the most unusual people I can find. But the real joy I find comes at the end when I shake someone’s hand and see the smile on their face as we say our good-byes. As far as I’m concerned, there is no better ending to a story.
Jason assured me there was plenty on the menu that I could enjoy that wasn’t sushi or didn’t have seaweed. In fact, as he started to rattle off all that was being created behind the sushi bar my mouth began to water. Had I brought my wallet with me, I am sure I would still be eating instead of writing. Then I asked him his favorite thing, which was sea urchin, and I thought maybe just taking the first step into this newly remodeled building was good enough for now.
Here’s a fun fact. Six years ago, Jason actually worked at that very restaurant, Sumo Sushi. (Again, “o sumo” means the champion). He was only there for a few months as a sushi chef before getting a better job at a better restaurant. When his fish distributor told him that his old boss was letting the business go, Jason jumped at the opportunity. Like all new businesses, Jason has struggled to launch, with business being up and down. Yet he was more than happy to take the time to talk with me. And that says something about his priorities. So I feel good about promoting his business, even if only one person reads it and goes…then maybe they will tell one person who will go and so on. When I asked him to tell me something about himself, he didn’t know what to say. He is 44 years old, the oldest of three kids, and grew up in the San Diego area. But he couldn’t help but go back to talking about his restaurant, “Once you come in and enjoy my food then you know me.” I may not like sushi, but I like him. And you can bet I will be back to learn more about him. One bite at a time.
Sue is from Brooklyn. She is a true New Yorker through and through even though she hasn’t lived there in over 30 years. But it’s in her blood. “It’s how I am able to deal with the stress in my life...I’m a New Yorker.” In almost the same breath, Sue tells me that it was her stress that led to her succumbing to Bell's palsy - a condition that causes a temporary weakness or paralysis of the muscles in the face. She is slowly learning to manage her stress with visits to the beach in case you were wondering.
Stress has always been a part of her life. She worked for years on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. Eventually she and her husband moved to Maui for three years. They had no kids but plenty of pets. But right now she doesn’t have any pets or anyone in her life. There is so much more to Sue than someone who speaks to angels, or hangs out with other people’s dogs, or being unemployed again, or only having $1.90 in her bank account. But like it’s been with so many of the people I have met this year, I cannot share publicly her truth, her pain, and her grief. However, I was able to share those things with her. As she talked, I realized how much our paths were similar. I was able to offer my experiences with her to let her know I understood. It was those experiences that allowed me to be fully present and truly compassionate. At the time I was experiencing that pain or going through my suffering I had no idea who Sue was. But now I do. I know her. And now I know why. It’s KNOWvember after all. I say this because Sue asked a question so many people ask me when the conversation turns to my faith in God. That is, “then why does God allow bad things to happen to good people.?” I didn’t tell her it might be to give us a voice or a connection to compassion for sharing later on in times like this. Nor did I tell her that bad things happen to bad people too. Nor any of the other fluffy platitudes we say when we don’t know what to say to a person. I didn’t need too. I simply met her in her question and shrugged my shoulders with her. As we parted ways, I began to think that maybe we go through stressful situations so we know how to sit in someone else’s stress, take it upon ourselves for a moment, if only so they can have a break from it. After all, isn’t that what angels do?
I liked him right then and there. He had a very calm presence about him. Not something you find with a parent of four kids all under the age of twelve. That peace, he would later confide was from his religious conversion that came about after his first child was born twelve years ago at 21 weeks! It’ no surprise that even non-praying people pray in times like this, but Morrie’s story went a little deeper. It began with the local Rabbi visiting Morrie and his wife in the hospital. I am not sure why, but she was not able to help them. But she knew someone in New Zealand who could. (How many people have someone like that in their back pocket? I do, but that’s a different story for another time.) He called the number and Rabbi #2 began to speak to them. And not just light chit-chat. He began to describe the hospital, the NICU, the family waiting room, and so forth. That got their attention. He then said, “Raise your son in the Orthodox tradition and he will be out of the hospital in two weeks.” He even added the caveat, “I know you are not religious but do what I say and your child will live.” Two weeks later, their son came home. And Morrie’s life was forever changed. He went from being “non-religious” to “orthodox” overnight. And he loves it. He has found himself and his place through the spiritual practice of Kabbalah, the ancient Jewish tradition of mystical interpretation of the Bible. Just as I was about to share my love for Christian mysticism, Morrie was called away by his son who was playing soccer. And I wasn’t able to get his picture. But I did get to welcome a true spiritual presence of something greater than I could put to words. As I walked away, thinking about the people I have met so far, I felt a peace come over me. Like Morrie told me, “It’s nice to know someone is watching over me, and that I am connected to that power. It’s freeing not to have to worry.” He wasn’t who I intended to meet. But I’m glad he decided to meet me. I’m grateful he did. Because now I have a better understanding of what it’s like to be approached by a stranger and begin a real conversation about stuff that matters…to me.
Advent starts in two weeks. Yet this reading seems more appropriate for Easter. If we think about it, we really can’t have one without the other. Even though sometimes I think they’re in the wrong order.
In her Life Mastery course Mary Morrissey said, “Everything is created twice.” That is, everything was first a thought before it became a thing. The lightbulb was first an idea before Edison produced the actual product. The seat you’re sitting on, the camera I am looking through, the shirt you are wearing, everything was first a thought before it could become a thing. Even us. A student of biology knows that long after we’re pronounced dead our bodies take on new life through decomposition, and through that process we become something new. So maybe this moment we are in is only God’s idea, and not yet the thing God has in store for us. What this tells is that the stuff we’re going through today is not what will always be. Everything is created twice. In the 7th century St. John Damascene said, “I do not worship matter. I worship the God of matter, who became matter for my sake and designed to inhibit matter, who worked out my salvation through matter.” Here Damascene speaks of the Christ who took on human flesh, who lived and died like all of us, and yet transcended the grave to create new life. You see, death was not God’s idea for us. Life was. And the life it produces through the Christ is resurrection Life. It is in this promise that we find our hope, our joy, and our reason to love one another – even in hard times - knowing that what we do here will affect what is to come – a new heaven and new earth. This might sound crazy or idealistic at best. But I’m sure DiVinci's idea of flight seemed nuts before the invention of the plane. God, the creator of life, is no different. And we see this in Isaiah’s prophecy. A mere 700 years before Jesus is born, Isaiah watched the Israelites reject God yet again. In the preceding verse, the Lord spoke through the prophet saying, “I will destine you for the sword and you will bend down for the slaughter; for I called but you did not answer, I spoke but you did not listen. You did evil in my sight and chose what displeases me.” God was not happy. Despite their betrayal, a plan was already in the works. As Isaiah watched Jerusalem burn and his family and friends get carted off into captivity, God spoke these words of comfort through him. “Behold, I will create a new heaven and a new earth.” Everything is created twice! This passage tells us that God is not only present in our pain and suffering, but that God is looking far into the future, to a time when pain and suffering will not exist because Christ has ushered in the resurrected life. This is the promise God gives us… to get through those seemingly impossible hardships we face. When our job is lacking, our relationships are fading, or our health is diminishing, there is hope because God is at work making something new. When a friend hurts you, your spouse betrays you, or someone you love is no longer with you, God is at work making something new. As an old southern preacher used to say, “when you are down on something God is up to something.”
What is that something? I won’t even pretend to know. But Isaiah gives us some clues to what we can expect:
The things we did will not be remembered nor come to mind. Our past will no longer define us or weigh us down or limit our possibilities. All the dumb comments we’ve made, all the shameful and foolish things we did in our youth God won’t remember them! And neither will we. Can I get an AMEN! In this new heaven and this new earth…there will be no crying or weeping or suffering. The things that break our hearts will no longer exist. There will be no more miscarriages, stillbirths, or parents dying when their children are still toddlers. Sons and daughters won’t get killed in car accidents or school shootings. People can love without the pain of heartache. Can I get an AMEN! In this new heaven and this new earth we’ll live in everlasting harmony with one another. There will be no more bullying, no more meanness, no more petty jealousy or personal attacks on Twitter. No more war, poverty, injustice, captivity, hoarding resources or holding back care. “The wolf and the lamb will feed together. They will neither harm nor destroy.” Can I get an AMEN! In this new heaven and this new earth… you will enjoy the fruits of your labor. Yes, you still have to go to work. However, your commute won’t suck, your co-workers will be awesome, you won’t get frustrated when someone thinks your idea is dumb. And of course, you work will always be rewarding because your boss will always reward you with the greatest of blessings. The way I see it, God’s joy is creating – creating a new space, a new context, a new Jerusalem where God will be with us and we can be with God. Where God is present, joy is present. Hope is present. Peace is present. This new space becomes a party space, because the reign of God is a joyful party that Jesus has invited you to attend. A wedding banquet, a marvelous feast, an unbelievable party to celebrate new life. For what was once lost is found, what was once dead is alive again! Can I get an AMEN! You’re probably thinking this new life sounds great, but what about now in this unpredictable life that we are enduring the best that we can? How will this help me deal with the news from my dermatologist tomorrow or prepare for that math test on Thursday? Lutheran pastor Daniel Habben said, “Studying this text is like circling your vacation days on your kitchen calendar. You do that, not because you’ll forget to go on vacation, but because sometimes you need a motivational tool to keep plugging away until that day comes.” “When the shortened daylight hours lengthen your dark mood, you can look at those red marks on your calendar and be reminded” of the warm sands of Cancun tickling your toes. When you need to work overtime to make changes on a presentation that is already overdue, those red marks help you see the light at the end of the tunnel. When your world is literally crumbling and burning down right in front of you, God puts a circle around our life and reminds us that everything is created twice. Through Christ, “we are headed to a better place that will keep us from giving up on life or from getting wrapped up in all the negativity and frustrations that cause us to lose focus and direction.” God is up to something. We may not know exactly what it is but we have some clues to know what to expect. We are never without hope. Hope is the sole message of Advent that leads us to the beauty of Christmas morning. The hope God gave us in the stable is also the hope we find in the Easter tomb. Everything is created twice – and with God, it’s always for a greater purpose. While Isaiah gives us a great picture of what God is up to, Jesus shows us how to begin living that new reality today. In Jesus God is making painful memories, anger and sorrow disappear. So why bother holding on to grudges now? Jesus teaches us to forgive the sins committed against us, just as God has forgiven and forgotten what we’ve done to others. Let your resentment go and focus on the love that God has placed in you. Today is the day to give up all arrogance and all judgments and condemnations and take on a heart as gentle and humble as the heart of Christ who will bring you to that place where God has always imagined you to be – in a new heaven and a new earth. I know we can’t circle the day on a calendar when Jesus will return, and make everything new. But I can stay encircled in Jesus’ love and the hope that his love brought into the world. We can be that love for others to understand that the pain they are feeling now will no longer be pain but joy. By seeing and doing what Jesus did, not only will we set foot in that new heaven and new earth, but we will also help usher it in today, tomorrow and forever. Can I get an AMEN! Work Cited: Greatly indebted to Rev. Daniel Habben for his inspiring sermon “When Lions Eat Straw” on Nov. 15, 2010 (accessed on Nov. 14, 2019). www.sermoncentral.com . Bartlett, David L. and Barbara Brown Taylor, eds. Feasting on the Word, Year C. Vol. 2 (Westminster John Knox: 2009) pp.354-359.
Back then, like so many of us, Angel had zeal for religion, for God, for Jesus, and for living it all out authentically in the world. But like all of us, she too went through the deconstruction process and forced to find her own voice and opinion in a field cluttered with opinionated voices. Not always the easiest thing to do when you are the youngest sibling in a Chinese immigrant home. Born and raised in San Francisco, Angle studied systems architecture. Despite her “liberal” birthplace and her “systematic” profession, she still struggles to find the balance in her life as she works on her doctorate degree. She continues to work at Fuller and is still seeking answers to her deep, theological questions. Angel and I had many classes together, and we even had a small group that met once a week which offered a safe space to share our struggles and offer spiritual care to one another. It was in those hours, over all those lunch tables, that our friendship was forged. After graduation, I moved away. And like it was with Earl (last year) we didn’t communicate as much as friends should. (But I still blame her because she never really embraced texting.) When we moved back and I started my church, Angle came to show support. But that was nearly three years ago. And so, we made it a point to get together. That’s when I noticed Angel was new again. A new sense of Spirit, a new sense of wonderment with new sets of questions and, more importantly, new perspectives. It didn’t take long for our conversation to move from light-hearted chit-chat to that safe space we had once created for each other. As we sat at the table, sharing our lunches, we talked about vulnerability and hurt, love and inclusion, God and church. Just as it was nine years ago, my heart felt a kind of peace that often came from discussions with her. This is something that seemed to be missing in my life. This is something I have sought to find in the other’s whom I have met this month so far. It made me feel new. Judging by the quality of our time together, and the many years that have pasted, I couldn’t help but to make Angel my KNOWvember choice! Looking back to my time with Earl (Day 25, 2018) I recalled why it is so important to that I do. I still stand by these words:
Fleming is from a very small town in NE Georgia. I’ve been through both traffic lights in her town on route to the Appalachian Trail. It didn’t surprise me that she’s from a very conservative, Baptist family. That’s what you go in those towns. Her husband, Paul, is also from a small town but his is slightly bigger so…there’s that.
Fleming and Paul became friends in college, where she was studying art history, and he was studying music. They’ve been together nearly a decade and married for just over four years after she received her Masters in Art Restoration in Chicago. Like a few other’s I’ve met this year, she had this to say, “So I took my expensive education and started working in a yarn shop because I like to knit.” Oddly, it was working in the craft world that she began to make cards which led to her job at a large printing company. Now, instead of restoring art work, she’s helping artist get their work printed. Fleming has an interesting look, one that would stand out in rural Georgia but blends in nicely in urban Los Angeles. Her head is shaved – revealing a perfectly round head (like mine). When I asked her to tell me a story, this is what I discovered about her hair grooming preferences. It turns out that Fleming suffers from Trichotillomania (trik-o-til-o-MAY-nee-uh), a disorder that involves recurrent, irresistible urges to pull out hair from your scalp, eyebrows or other areas of your body, despite trying to stop. This is something that affect girls more than boys, and often begins to develop in teenagers. For Fleming, it happened the first grade while she was suffering from a bad case of chicken pox. I grew up with someone that also suffered from this disease but tried to hide it. Fleming shaves it as a badge of honor. And she wears it well. She told me, “Confidence comes from our experiences” which left me wondering how much more she has experienced that would make her the strong, friendly, confident, and kind-hearted person that she is. So many people vainly hide behind their hair or other physical features, but when it’s stripped (or shaved) away the is nowhere you can hide. And so, why not be seen! “I wish more people did this” she said referring to KNOWvember. And I was thinking, I wish more people were like this great soul. I guess I’ll have to go out tomorrow and see if I can find one.
In the middle of trying to convince Marta that I was simply trying to learn her story, she yelled to a teenager across the street. I wasn’t sure what she was doing. And apparently neither did Luis, a sophomore at Van Nuys High School. I told him I needed him to translate for me. And as he began to ask her questions, she didn’t want to answer him because she didn’t know him…and didn’t want to talk to me because (as Luis said) we didn’t speak the same language.
So, I started with simple questions. Was she married? No. Did she have kids? No. Has she been doing this job for a long time? No. I did find out that her favorite flavor juice was Tamarindo because it’s tart. Do you like tart flavors? No. Luis was beginning to show the patients of a teenager when Marta started asking me questions. “Why do you want to know about me?” I said, “Because I am trying to meet the people in my neighborhood.” Then, “Why do you want to meet people?” I tried explaining to her that I was “trying to build bridges between people and not walls.” Luis liked that answer and when he translated it to her, using a lot more words than I would think was necessary, Marta smiled, and said I was crazy. Perhaps. What’s crazy is a world where immigrants live in fear, where strangers won’t talk to each other, or languages still keep us from sharing our story. Was it me? Or the times we are living through these days? Is this just a crazy pipedream of mine to want to build bridges between different groups or is this the new reality where people are scared to engage with others because you can just never tell what kind of crazy thing might happen. Today in El Paso, TX, WalMart reopened after a man drove from Dallas to the border town to kill innocent Mexican people because of some fanatical political belief that has infected our country. And just a few miles away, at another high school, a young man opened fire and killed two people before killing himself. Marta has good reason not to talk with me. I was a stranger. But I too am in the right to want to make sure people like Marta, Luis, and all the rest don’t have to fear people like me. Or anyone for that matter. That’s what I know this day in KNOWvember
He was an avid tennis player who played well into his 94th year of life. But his favorite sport was football. So meeting him during Super Bowl meant taking a back seat to watching the game.
He also loved music, movies, reading, and most of all his family. He was a forever learner, often taking classes at the community college to keep his mind sharp and keep up on what was happening. He liked his scotch, his gin, and his whiskey. Whenever he had a glass, there were laughs and good times to be had. He believed in life and lived life to the fullest. I would’ve loved to have interviewed him in person for this project. But like I said, to me Morrie was more interested in giving me a smile and a handshake and a simple hello. It’s hard to say goodbye. |
Ian MacdonaldAn ex-copywriter turned punk rock pastor and peacemaker who dedicates his life to making the world a better place for all humanity. "that they all might be one" ~John 17:21“Prius vita quam doctrina.”
~ St. Thomas Aquinas (1225–1274) * “Life is more important than doctrine.”
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