“When we are crushed like grapes, we cannot think of the wine we will become. The sorrow overwhelms us,... we need to be reminded that our cup of sorrow is also our cup of joy and that one day we will be able to taste the joy as fully as we now taste the sorrow.” - Henri Nouwen
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While she was in her bedroom and me in my office, our story really takes place around the kitchen sink, which had literally fallen through the floor. Our time was limited because she and her husband had only a small window of time to get that sorted out. But there was so much that this young mother of two had already dealt with in your life that she was still sorting out.
“Everything used to come very easy to me.” Growing up in New Brunswick, Jesika was athletic and played a lot of sports. She did well in school without much effort. And she enjoyed a balanced life between her “hippy” mom and her “jock” dad. Jesika didn’t take her life for granted. She worked hard to get to where she would eventually be at the top of a global marketing network. Not long after her marriage to Andrew, things began to change. It was as if life seemed to throw everything at her…including the kitchen sink! During her pregnancy she discovered an underlying health issue that still affects her quality of life today. Then her husband suffered a traumatic brain injury from a car bomb while serving in the Canadian Armed Forces in Afghanistan. Through it all, Jesika’s competitive spirit never gave up. “Every time a trauma hit us, we knew we could get through it.” This was put to the test when she was given 3 days to find a liver transplant. As nerve racking (or I guess organ racking) as that would be for most people, Jesika found a way to grow and make peace with herself. After another setback, she realized “It was like a metamorphous of myself; new hair, new skin.” From rebuilding her life to rebuilding her kitchen, life hasn’t been easy like it used to be. But it’s not without its reward. She and her family have traveled and explored the world; wintering in New Zealand and Bali; living in an elephant sanctuary; stretching herself in some of the most beautiful places on earth. They have reinvented themselves and built new business ventures that inspire others to overcome their own traumatic experiences. Like Jesika explained to me, “I have visualized and manifested myself back to health in many ways.” She and her husband have rebuilt their life and home when the foundation has literally crumble below them, and now “the center of our house (the kitchen) is falling apart.” The metaphor did not escape Jesika who has come to realize “For so long I have felt clogged in the center of my body.” She is beginning to see her life more clearly now; looking at the hole in her counter where her sink used to be. As she spoke, she never lost the light in her eyes or the smile on her face. I don’t think she was trying to be brave, I think that’s just who she is. She’s balanced even though the track and field might seem uneven. She still loves to dress up in leopard print on Halloween, she still savors life even though she can’t enjoy her vice – ice cream. She still hangs out with her two best friends from high school, the ones who she shared her first “drink” with – a two liter “Rockaberry” Canadian Cooler. If she could go back in time, it might be to middle school or her last two years of university, and she would tell her younger self “Stop building your resume.” She sacrificed so much of her life to get the “things” she thought she wanted. But now, married to the man of her dreams and mom of two beautiful young kids, she is finally “playing again…walking on water…feeling the lightness…cherishing the moments.” I cherished my short time with her. I was grateful she extended it a little longer. But she too is grateful to have her life extended too. Because the literal and metaphorical hole in her kitchen isn’t going to fix itself.
Although we never met, we both knew a few things about one another. She knew I am a minister and I live in Los Angeles. I knew she was a teacher and lived in Greenville. She had an idea about my KNOWvember project from my blog. I knew a little something about her Lotus Project, a mentoring program that "encourages young women to strengthen their inner selves in order to reach their full potential and to recognize their value and beauty." But she had no idea that I had been asking other women I’ve interviewed about this very subject.
Larissa, unlike the others, was lucky enough to have not just one mentor, but two as she was starting out teaching high school history. More than just helping her navigate the education system, Larissa’s first mentor taught her how to mountain bike and jazzercise (something women did before they realized they could kick ass in Cross Fit training). The other taught her the delicate balance in life, “You can give it all here, but not so much that you can’t give it at home.” The empowerment and wisdom she received early in life would become a passion she needed to pass on to other women. In a highly competitive world, backstabbing is common among women who are still fighting for a seat at the table. So, she created a program that brings women together as allies instead of adversaries. Needless to say, Larissa was over the moon with our new Vice President shattering the glass ceiling in one of the most visible offices in the world. “I was crying because she looks like me.” Although I knew of her project, I had no idea that she is the oldest sister to two brothers, and collected Barbies to pass on to her daughter that she would one day have. As fate would have it, she met her husband while he was in the navy and together, they brought two wonderful boys into the world. As for those Barbies, well… It was nice to talk with her, not just because it was easy but because I knew what the high school where she worked looked like. I could see the students and knew many of them. I grew up in a small town and I know what it’s like to be someone who just needed to break free in order to grow my wings. Larissa knows this too. Larissa was from a smaller town in Michigan than Greenville. But it never really felt like home. Like me, it wasn’t until I moved away that I discovered who I really was. While I moved north to Washington, DC, Larissa moved south to New York, which gave her all the things her home state couldn’t. These were the places that formed who we are. She constantly teaches her students to “Go do stuff. Get out and see the world.” For a teacher whose best part of the job is being with and connecting to her students, she is most proud when she sees them grow and thrive. “The kids that leave are the ones I stay in touch with.” Teachers love to teach all sorts of things, but rarely do they tell you about themselves. Like how she would love to be the sixth Spice Girl who went by the name “Sunny Paris” Spice. Or how as a kid she related to Miss Piggy, the Muppet who was always seeking attention. But here’s a little secret for the small-town rumor mill: her first alcoholic drink was a wine cooler that her cousin gave her. Truth be told, Larissa is more than a teacher. She is also a student of life. Fearless, bold, and courageous. Things you have to be to turn high schoolers into humans. I don’t know who I’d be if I had her as a teacher. But I did have a mentor of my own who inspired me to go and see the world. This journey my life is on, despite all its bumps and bruises, has led me here – living in a large town where I finally got to meet new old friend. *The Lotus Project is built on the principles of sisterhood, inner strength, confidence, health, relationships, gratitude, and responsibility. Visit the website and see how you might be able to get involved.
I already knew a little bit about Craig who now lives in Temecula, a beautiful town in Southern California surrounded by mountains. Our mutual friends would always try see him and his wife when they came out to visit us. Because he measures in at a mere 6’7”, I would say “seeing” Craig isn’t hard to do. Height aside, it’s his heart and his passion to live into his faith that really makes him stand out. I would also find out that Craig used his height to play basketball. He spent six years playing professionally overseas in Uruguay, France, and in his father’s homeland of Sweden. I learned his father, who died when Craig was 14, left his country to make a new life in America. He abandoned his native language for a new one, and never went back or stayed in touch with his past. Craig used this time playing basketball in Sweden to reconnect with family. And to this day they remain close. His daughter is friends with her distant cousins. To celebrate his birthday, Craig thought about doing a 68-mile bike ride. But decided to make it a 68-minute walk instead because he’d “like to live to see 69.” Like he mentioned to me, “With age comes wisdom…and humility.” To this day, he has only shot a crossbow once, “and that was at a target.” Craig recently retired from a long career in education, which he always saw as his ministry. “I have never been bored.” Craig loves to ride his bike, workout with weights, and golf. Although he loves to spend most of his time outside, Craig also has a social media ministry; reaching people he knows and to those he does not know with messages of love and peace. His followers include former students whom Craig wants to give them another voice than that of what’s going on in the world.
“Some folks are like umbrellas, they come into your life with little meaning. And then there’s the ones who make you hang on to every word.” – The Handsome Family, Everything That Rises Must Converge
Our conversation went moved at high speed. With him at the wheel, it was all I could do to hold on. Jeremy handled the conversation with the deft and agility of a Formula One racer. Quoting authors, motivational speakers, various ministers, and historians as if he himself were the one who had taught them what to say. He has a knack of remembering words. And is skillful at putting them into precise context. I suspect that’s a good thing for a communication specialist and someone who writes for a living. “Tell me the smallest things about yourself so long as they are obscene and secret and filthy.” – James Joyce In our two, one-hour conversations I would learn Jeremy is more than a lover of coffee, bourbon, and fancy pens. He is a vivacious learner. He is passionate for stories and devours books like most people with tweets. Through trial and error, Jeremy has compiled the wisdom of someone who has lived for 3,000 years. A few years ago, he ditched social media to “free space in my brain.” And still he has filled volumes of journals with his handwritten thoughts and ideas. "You are blessed when you get your inside world - you mind and heart - put right. Then you can see God n the outside world." - Matthew 5:8, The Message As Jeremy drove, he meandered between various topics. We often found ourselves at the intersection of work and faith. A familiar place for us both. Although he is suspicious of people who go to church, Jeremy has a wonderful obsession with Eugene Peterson’s The Message translation of the Bible (like his hero Bono, the band U2). It started with the Psalms, then just expanded from there. He is in the midst of reading the book of Proverbs, taking a small bite and savoring its wisdom. He admits he struggles to make sense of some of the bible. But that didn't stop him from declaring, “I love God. I love Jesus. I love this book. And my life makes more sense because of it than without it.” “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” – St Teresa of Calcutta Along our journey Jeremy pointed out, “we are both evangelist” sharing our story and getting people to believe in our cause. We are passionate about life, changing minds, inspiring people to see beyond themselves and finding their potential to be world changers. Before we met, I had no idea he had produced a successful podcast or authored numerous books. He is, on so many levels, a "wild duck" – someone who questions the way things are and challenges the status quo. I didn't dare let him know that Jesus was no different. Humble and kind, Jeremy prefers to describe himself not as a businessman or a religious man, but as, "The dad of …(names withheld)...” his identical twin daughters who were born prematurely and were not supposed to survive. But they are, thriving and succeeding, just like their father. For a man who loved to quote others, it only seems fitting to quote something inscribed in the opening pages of his Ten Words, “You can change the world by sharing your story.” I am grateful that he shared his with me and allowed me to share mine with him. As the trip around our world came to an end, we now have our own story to tell. It might not be worthy of a press conference, but in a way it will shock the critics who think that this social experiment isn't worthy of the hype I give it. I'm fine with that. I'm just looking forward to when he and I will talk again. Who knows, maybe I'll inspire his next quote to the next person he meets. Fun Fact: Jeremy has never shot a crossbow simply because "I have no interest." And little did I know when we wrote our story that one of the featured stories in his book is that of Elon Musk, the inventor of the Tesla.
For the record, Mark had already friended me on Facebook. He had already read some of my work and watched some of my videos. In fact, he is also doing videos for Facebook – trying to make the bible more applicable to what’s going on in life. I confessed to him that haven’t watched any yet because I wanted to meet him without any preconceived notions of who he was/is. I wanted our first meeting to be authentic. It was real and authentic, just like Mark. I’m glad I refrained because the moment we met I felt like we had known each other for years.
Mark came of age while segregation was supposedly supposed to be dying off. He’s almost a decade older than me, but we seemed to be cut from many of the same materials in life. Neither one of us were considered the best students in our youth. It’s not that we were stupid, no matter how hard our teachers tried to convince us otherwise. We had both heard it said to us, “You’ll never amount to anything.” And “you’ll never go to college.” It will be a stigma we both would carry up to this day. I asked him if it were possible to go back in time, what advice would he give to his younger self. “Study.” But there was more. Mark was also adopted, and so he’d like to “know my parents.” And now as a parent (and grandparent) himself, he said he’d tell himself to “spend more quality time with my kids.” Mark met our mutual friend in the Philippines while he serving in the Air Force, and it was there he had his come to Jesus moment. It was also there he would meet his wife of 37 years. And it was there they would have their first son. Their next child would be born in Madrid, Spain. He joked about being stationed near the Canadian border in Maine when his wife was pregnant with their third son. “Right before her water broke, I wanted to go into Quebec to have the baby.” We laughed because we both knew you don’t argue with the woman carrying your child. After the service, Mark worked a variety of jobs from managing a restaurant to owning his own cleaning business. While he does not have a formal college degree, he has earned numerous certifications that has helped him find some balance in his life. For both of us, that balance is deeply rooted in our shared faith. He and I spoke freely about our faith, and the life changes that had occurred because of it. Neither one of us wanted to be passive participants in life. And both of us learned how to become who we are today through trial and error. For me, it was a punk rock attitude of proving others wrong. For Mark, it was much like that but with more AC/DC and Motley Cru. Neither one of us want to leave this life having any regrets. But I think we both regrated that our time had to come to an end. But before we did, Mark said, “I want to make a name for myself.” He told me he wanted to help people in his community, especially young black fathers. And I believe he can. Mark has real wisdom, real stories, and a real faith. But he also has a really big heart and an even bigger passion for life. My heart and my passion for this project just grew a little bigger because of it. And one last thing: Mark never really knew Sesame Street, nor does he have a favorite Muppet. So perhaps this is where our next conversation will begin. Mark might have thought there was a reason we were talking, but now I see a reason to talk again, and again. This is the kind of stuff that happens when strangers become friends.
It drives us nuts to have to wait. Unless of course we’re waiting with a purpose...you know waiting to see how the film will end or waiting until you complete the next level in a video game before you take out the trash. I’ll ask my son to do something and it’s always, “In a minute.” I swear if we set our clocks to his time, we’d never grow old.
Although Joe Biden is the projected winner of the 2020 election, he has to wait until Jan 20 before he can move into the White House. We all have to wait to see what will happen in between. And like Tom Petty sang, “The waiting is the hardest part.” As we will see in today’s reading, Jesus tells a story about a belated celebration and what happens in the wait. It’s a parable on faith, where he tells us to “keep awake,” always ready for the future by being ready now. That’s because faith is all about active waiting. Read Matthew 25:1-13 “Then the kingdom of heaven will be like this. Ten bridesmaids[a] took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. When the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them; but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. As the bridegroom was delayed, all of them became drowsy and slept... Matthew 25:1-13
If I rewrote this parable for today, it would be about ten pundits in a room waiting for the election results to come in from Nevada. Wisely, Jesus chooses a theme for his parable that is more universal to tell us about the kingdom of heaven. It’s about a wedding that doesn’t go quite as planned.
I know from experience that even the best-planned wedding has the potential for mishaps. The weather can turn on a dime, catering can be delayed or simply not show up, or as it was in the case of my wedding, the organist plays “Here comes the bride” seven times before the bride actually comes...leaving the poor groom to wait at the altar while everyone stares at him. Weddings were a bit different back in the day when Jesus told this parable. The groom would be escorted by the bridal party into a home where the bride was waiting. They would consummate the affair, and then when they were ready come out and the party would begin. It was a big celebration, but one that wouldn’t have had a definite start time. You knew it would happen on that day or the next at the latest. SO guest knew to come prepared for the wait. It was custom for the bridesmaids to escort groom to the place where the wedding would occur. But it was also the custom for the groom to delay his arrival as a practical joke! We’re not sure what happened here in Mathew’s gospel other than these girls, dressed in their bridesmaid gowns, wait, and wait, and wait. The sky grows dark, the evening hours pass. And before they know it, all of them are asleep. Suddenly, someone awakens them! And they quickly attend to their lamps. Five of them have enough oil, and soon their lamps are glowing in the darkness. The others five do not. They ask to borrow some, but there is none to spare. They run out into the darkness looking for oil, which I imagine wasn’t that easy to do. While they are gone, the bridegroom arrives - escorted by the light of the remaining bridesmaids to meet his waiting bride. There’s something about this story that doesn’t sit well with us. The last are not first in this one. When the other five return, it’s too late. They are left outside. All dressed up, with no place to go. The story ends like a bad dream, with them begging but to no avail.
It doesn’t seem fair that the so called “foolish” bridesmaids take the blame in this story while the bridegroom faces no consequences for making everyone wait for so long or for not being considerate enough to wait for the oil-deprived bridesmaids to return. And the ones who had enough oil don’t catch any flack for their lack of generosity.
It’s a rather confusing explanation of the Kingdom of Heaven – one of hoarding, and a lack of compassion; a kingdom where one gets blamed for someone else’s carelessness. This is far from the things that Jesus has shared and shown up to this point. It makes me wonder if we’re reading this parable the way we’re should. Maybe it’s not about the wedding, or these wise and foolish characters. Maybe it’s about something else in this story. There’s only one other thing in this parable that Jesus talks about...the oil. Some have it, others do not, or not enough. What does Jesus want us to have but not all of us possess? The way I see it, Jesus is talking about oil as a way to talk about our faith. For example, the wise come prepared with enough faith to get them through the wait and uncertainty of tomorrow. The foolish don’t. They want the faith of the wise, only to discover it can’t be shared like that. My faith is uniquely mine. And yours is yours. What this parable is teaching me, is that it’s up to me to always be actively filling my spiritual reserves so that I will always be prepared to get through the long night of waiting. I know what it’s like to wait; especially for God to reveal where I am supposed to be. And I know what it’s like to have your faith stretched thin. By the time I fell asleep Tuesday night (which was really Wednesday morning) my faith in our country, and in Christianity, was nearly all but gone. I had just enough oil in reserve to trim my inner light to get me through the night. I had just enough faith left to know I can wait for God because I knew God is already here – working out the path that leads us to the celebration. In the midst of life’s joys and pain, in the uncertainty of what tomorrow might bring, it’s our faith that keeps our inner, personal light shining. It’s our faith that helps us be prepared for when the time comes to enter into the wedding banquet. Like oil in a lamp, we can run out of faith if we stop refiling our supply. Which is why Jesus issues a stark warning to stay awake. “Keep Awake!” Don’t let your faith fall asleep. Jesus is calling us to participate in the kingdom of heaven always. Actively engage in our faith – especially during this expectant period of waiting – by having mercy, offering forgiveness, walking humbly with our God; spreading the peace of Christ in the world. Faith is our oil that allows us to shine the light of Christ into the darkest of days. What good is it if you don’t use it as we wait for God’s redemptive plan to be fully revealed. Unlike when you put gas in your car and drive all over town, the more we practice our faith by being God’s love in the world, the more faith and love there is. The more you let your light shine on the Kingdom of Heaven, the brighter and longer your light will last. Being prepared to wait isn’t about stockpiling – like many did with ammunition before the election. The Kingdom of Heaven isn’t a doomsday story. It’s God’s redemptive plan for all of us. To be prepared is to keep your faith awake, and to put it to work while you wait. We’re all invited to the wedding, but only some of us will get in. Later in Matthew 25 Jesus lays out what this means. But it boils down to this: those whose faith is focused on doing the work of the kingdom will see the kingdom. Those who do not will be left in the darkness. Faith takes work. We can’t sleep through it. We have to keep awake, stay active. We have to exercise our faith if we want to build up the muscle. The more we use it, the more we have. As we wait for a new dawn to arrive in this moment of darkness, as we wait, unsure of what others might do or not do, as we wait with anxious hearts for God to come lead us home, Jesus says keep awake. Do not let the light of your faith fade. It’s up to us to use this time of active wait to be active disciples – taking up our cross and following in the footsteps of Jesus. There’s no better time to shine than now – when hatred and anger and brokenness need to the light of Christ to see a way to love and kindness and reconciliation. Every moment we let pass is time ticking off the clock before the doors are shut. For the real tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait too long to begin it. The kingdom of heaven summons us today to build up our reserves of faith that prepares us to weather the unexpected timing of God. I also believe we’ve been given this time today to wait for God, so that we can let our faith shine brightly for others to find their way. Today, we have been given the time to wait for God, so that God can work in us and through us for freedom, justice, and compassion because world is still crying out for help. Today, we have been given the time to wait, to find our own unique way to be the heart of God, the light of Christ, and the very presence of the Holy Spirit in this moment. So, I invite you to let your faith shine brightly today, light up the darkness so all can see the way of truth and righteousness as we wait to walk with the bridegroom who leads us towards God’s open arms for the greatest celebration ever. Work Cited: Bartlett, David L, Barbara Brown Taylor, eds. Feasting on the Word, Year A, vol. 4. (Louisville, Westminster John Knox) 2011. pp. 284-289. Kelley, Shannon. Be Prepared. http://episcopaldigitalnetwork.com/lessons/2014/09/21/be-prepared
I was wrong. It seems she’s just curious. And as for taking the time to get back to me, I would come to learn that’s just who she is. She takes her time – especially with people. With me, she took the time to listen carefully and to be fully engaged in our conversation. An unexpected surprise from someone in the medical profession.
As it turns out, Shenary got tired with being a part of the industry healthcare system (a system of seeing as many patients in a day to increase billing). So, she left it to become a direct primary care physician. What does that mean? For starters, she doesn’t accept insurance. Instead, her patients pay a monthly fee directly to her for ongoing care. Not only did it free her from the dealing with the massive bureaucracy of the health care industry but it also gave her time to be with patient. Now, on average, she often spins about an hour with each patient versus the typical 8 minutes most of us get. In the hour she gave to me over the phone, we both were surprised to discover that we had more in common than just a friend who connected us for this experiment. For example, we both once lived in Michigan. Around the same time Shenary made her way to Florida to finish her education, I was on my way out of that state to pursue mine. We both have sons roughly the same age, both of whom have “hairy little man legs.” I asked her if she sail, and again discovered more commonality. Just like my parents had done for us, she and her husband bought a used Hobie Cat for their kids to sail on the lake behind their house. And for the record neither Shenary or I have ever shot a crossbow. But we both like the same Muppet. “Oh, I’m a legit Kermit fan.” Now, I like Kermit because I admire his inquisitive mind, his never-ending search for goodness in others, and how he is always faithful to who he is. Shenary likes him because she likes frogs. Her favorite books growing up were the Frog and Toad series, which, believe it or not are still my favorite children’s stories. When she asked what I did for a living, I told her. I’m like you in that I take care of other people’s health. But instead of it being their physical wellbeing, I care for their spiritual wellbeing. This opened the door for us to discuss our faith, and the many ways God has made our hearts tender, and the ways we have experienced a truly abundant life. We’re both ministers in our own unique way. I deal with the spiritual causes of people’s health, and she with “the physical manifestations of the spiritual aches and pains.” In a way we are all caretakers in our own way. Kindness and compassion are the medicines and healing balms we all need and desire. Not every wound is healed quickly or with one quick trip to see the doctor. Some take time, and faithful attention. I was blessed that Shenary gave me her time to share her story, her faith, and her kindness. When it was all said and done, those little spiritual aches and pains I was experiencing just seemed to go away. I’m glad she not only answered her calling, but that she also answered my call.
While my teeth were brushed and pajamas on, Yvonne was up ready to start her day too. She was enjoying a cup of coffee having had already finished her breakfast - ham and cheese on rye. This was no ordinary cheese. It was a special Swedish cheese called “präst” which means priest or pastor.
2. You will always know a Scandinavian cheese by the ending "öst" in the name, which simply means "cheese" in Swedish. Präst dates back to a time when church tithes were often paid with farm produce. When the pastor's family would receive an overabundance of milk, his wife would make cheese to sell at the local market. I am not sure if Yvonne knew that I was an ordained minister with a twisted sense of humor, but I had to crack a joke when she described the cheese as “very spicy and delicious.” Thankfully Yvonne spoke English flawlessly. Like most everyone in her country, she was nearly fluent in my native tongue at a very early age. “The problem you have in America is you really only speak English. It’s so universal that you really don’t have to learn another one.” Yvonne also speaks some French and Italian as well. For her, language is the best way to make new connections. Like this one. As a social worker who advocates and finds employment for people with disabilities, Yvonne also speaks an unspoken language – one that comes from the heart. 3. The main official language of Sweden is Ssvenska, but the country also has 5 other official languages - Finnish, Yiddish, Sami, Meänkieli and Romani. Yvonne is divorced. Her two sons are adults and are not living in the house anymore. As the gentle morning sun filtered into her home office, she confessed it took a global pandemic to finally make her house feel like her home again. Outside her window she could see one of her apple trees. It was bare having shed its leaves and fruit for the season. Her garden closed for the winter that will eventually come. But inside her home there was nothing but life and warmth radiating so brilliantly from her soul that it lit up numerous time zones. As the night darkened for me, and the day brightened for her I had some sleep to catch up on and she had her Covid Bubble friends to meet up with, but not before she cleaned her house and went for a walk to enjoy the sunshine, a rare thing for this time of year. “Your last Presidential election we had the worst snowstorm. This time we have sunshine.” I took this as a good sign of what was to come in our election drama. Yvonne reminded me of the power my country has over hers. “The US is the global leader. My life, my kids work and my country’s economy depends on your decision.” 4. Highly skilled at warfare, Swedish Vikings were a fearsome group who invaded and settled throughout Northern and Eastern Europe. During the 17th century Sweden again emerged as a great power with the Swedish Empire gaining territories in Eastern Europe. But since 1814, Sweden has remain neutral in all wars including World Wars I and II. Despite the country's peaceful nature Swedes over 19 years still have to complete up to 15 months of military service. And working at Ikea is purely voluntary. With her blonde hair and blue eyes, her fiery spirit and fierce passion, it’s no surprise Yvonne has Viking DNA. I would learn she has shot both a crossbow and a blowgun with the skill and expertise that would make her ancestors proud. But during our hour together, she was also very open and welcoming, willing to be vulnerable and real, like someone who had finally come to a place in her life where her Divine DNA could be seen. I came prepared with questions to break the ice. But I quickly realized there wasn’t any ice, or borders, between Yvonne and I. Just two new friends connected by two mutual old friends. Like what often happens when friends get together, time flew by. It was late. We both had somewhere we had to be. Me, asleep. She awake. I said “godnatt” and she “good morning.” 5. Sweden has very low unemployment, low birth rate, a highly developed welfare system and one of the world's longest life expectancies all contributes to modern Sweden having one of the highest standards of living in the world. Which tells me this new friendship will have longevity.
“Running is a relationship and friendship. I don’t expect more than what I put into it. I need to show up. And I don’t abuse it.” There’s a lot packed into this thought for me to think about, which I would do on my run had I not removed my running shoes for the interview. Running is more than a passion for Betsy, it’s her business as well. This self-made entrepreneur owns her own business – a mobile shoe store called Suda’s Fit Foot. The idea was inspired by her grandmother who, in her 96 years, only complained about one thing: the pain in her feet. Betsy would bring her shoes to her nursing home for her grandmother to try on. “Church groups would come to sing for them, why couldn’t I bring shoes for them?” In 2018, that brilliant idea became a sustainable reality. Her business is a long way away from where she saw herself when she studied chemistry in college and researched biodegradable polymers in grad school. “But it’s an interesting way to interact with humanity.” And there it was. Our connection wasn't running, it was our love for interacting with life. That was the purpose for this exercise in the first place. I am always moving forward, finding new pand interesting pathways to interact with people. Especially strong people like Betsy, people whose daily breakfast consists of dark chocolate and coffee. I like meeting people who I can identify with Fraggle Rock – a Muppet inspired musical group that Jim Henson once described as "a high-energy, raucous musical romp of silliness.” Perhaps this was the real inspiration for Betsy’s model of life. The Fraggle crew were both industrious like she is, and accessible to all ages like her business is. Moreover, neither shy away from talking about serious issues that we still face today – prejudice, identity, social conflicts and the environment. These are the topics that lit Betsy up when we met.
Betsy is also creative like the show. In fact, she recently wrote a parody song set to Culture Club’s Karma Chameleon that is about Sen. Kamala Harris. It was written from the male perspective to talk to men who were still undecided, voting 3rd party, or turned off completely from voting. This past weekend she recorded it with some friends. (Note: she sent me the video of them recording it and it’s awesome). Although she’s never shot a crossbow, she does play the ukulele, violin, an cello, and has done ballet since she was a little girl. And her first drink was a gin and tonic, which she got while visiting her brother in Scotland while he was studying Theology at St. Andrews! The most surprising question she had for me was when she asked if I like David Sedaris, the famed humorist. “This reminds me of him. He always likes to ask strangers questions.” She then told me about a time Sedaris got in a taxi at the airport and asked the driver if he has ever petted a monkey. The driver, sniffs his hand and asked, ‘Can you smell it?’” Like me, Betsy loves dry humor and dogs doing silly things. “I like it when nature looks like us.” There’s a lot more to talk about, as there always is, but this is what I ran with when I went for a mental and emotional jog with Betsy. So many of us are too busy running away from thing or chasing after something with no real purpose. Not Betsy. She sets her sights on the goal she wants to achieve and runs towards it – focused and determined. Like the words written on her website, "Our goal is to create a world with people living and moving freely, enjoying life." Life, like running, is relational. I am grateful Betsy took the time to move me and our conversation from strangers sharing small talk to friends sharing life. While it might not have been a marathon, I kept pace with Betsy (who I am sure slowed down for me) as we jogged down the road of life, just beyond the bushes in her front yard. |
Ian MacdonaldAn ex-copywriter turned punk rock pastor and peacemaker who dedicates his life to making the world a better place for all humanity. "that they all might be one" ~John 17:21“Prius vita quam doctrina.”
~ St. Thomas Aquinas (1225–1274) * “Life is more important than doctrine.”
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