I’ve known this man for over three decades. For more than half of my life, he has been my brother. And before he passes through the doorway of this life into the next, I wanted you to know somethings about Jeff, who offered his life in service to our country – following in the footsteps of his father and grandfather. Born at a US Naval base in Japan, Jeff lived near the ocean most of his life – be it the Pacific in Northern California or the Atlantic in South New Jersey. After graduating from Rutgers, Jeff enlisted in the Navy. He is both an officer and a gentleman. With a strong jawline and his movie star chin, Jeff has crystal blue eyes like Paul Newman. I am convinced that this is what first got my sister’s attention.
Jeff and Jane (my sister) brought their last child into the world, just a few hours before my wife and I welcomed our first. Emily is the third of three amazing kids who share Jeff’s DNA, and she is my goddaughter. They named their oldest son after my brother, Andrew. But somewhere after telling him and filling out the birth certificate, my name became his. Katie is in-between. Jeff is good at growing things – be it a garden or a family or his own intellect. And whenever we were on vacation at Prince Edward Island, Jeff arose every morning and went to Tim Hortons to ensure we had fresh donuts so that he could grow my stomach. He is as sweet as his sweet tooth. Although we were brothers from another mother, we also became friends. I could say it was the donuts, but really it was his kindness that grew my heart fonder. But this took some time. The two stories of Jeff I will always hold in my heart are as such. The first happened on a very cold morning in Italy. Jeff was still getting used to our family, and adapting to our insane way of traveling. Long story short, Jeff needed to use the bathroom. The problem was we were on our private tour bus in the middle of remote and rural Tuscany. Jeff was an officer, and did things by the book. Using nature as a bathroom would not suffice. But that could only last for so long. Eventually, the bus pulled over and Jeff walked out into the field; a bit shy and very embarrassed. I was right behind him, unashamed and proud, to do my business as well. Being the childish younger brother that I am, I picked up a rock and threw it in the bushes to startle him. Jeff did not like that. He turned around, took his seat back on the bus, and did not say a word until we pulled into a small village for lunch. A little more civilized this time, we both made a beeline to the restrooms. It was there Jeff gave me, let’s call it “a stern talking to.” Because of what I did, Jeff was unable to do what he needed to. I felt horrible. I had no idea. It’s not like these things came up during conversations. In that moment, in that bathroom, I learned some things about myself and about Jeff. Most importantly, he is a man of honor and can speak hard words with a gentle heart
First stop was to the ATM for some money. As I was standing in line, I noticed the woman in the car in front of us was none other than Jennie Garth, who plays Kelly Taylor. Only problem I had is I couldn’t get their attention to notice. Again, this is way before cellphones were popular and they certainly didn’t have cameras. That didn’t matter, everywhere we went we saw famous people; TV stars, movie stars, and even a few rock stars. None of which they recognized.
I could stop the story here, and say Jeff just isn’t into pop culture the way most people are. But when we decided to hit the Coach and Horses pub near my house for a nightcap, it was Jeff who recognized one of the only three people in the place. And it wasn’t Ginger the bartender. Before all of us were in the door, Jeff turned around and said, “We can go now, I saw someone famous.” Who? I thought as my eyes adjusted to the dark bar. “Quentin Tarantino.” Instead of leaving, we ordered our drinks and waited for his friend to go to the bathroom so they could get a photograph. Long story short, his friend goes to the bathroom and Jane and Jeff get the courage to ask, his friend returns only to hear my sister scream out, “Oh my God, I’ve loved you since Facts of Life.” And that’s how we met George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino. I cherish the photograph I took of the four of them at the bar. Not just because it's one of a very few pictures that I have of Jeff where his eyes are open, or because he and my sister are smiling so happily, I like it because it captures the relaxed nature of Jeff that wasn't always shown publicly. He earned the nickname ‘Mr. Safety’ by his adopted family. Those stories are for his kids to tell. He is always good about showing up to help my parents who live down the street. And he's never shy about handing you a plate to dry from the stack he is washing after a meal (something I swear he does to get out of talking with my crazy family, although that’s still up for debate). But I can say this, when you’re with Jeff you feel relaxed and welcomed. When I am around him I can’t help but feel a sense of pride, presence of joy and grace, and the warm beam of light that always seems to shine through him. There is so much to say about him. I suspect there will be more written about him sooner than anyone would like. Especially someone as humble as Jeff. He is an officer and a gentle man. But moreover, he's my big brother today and for all eternity.
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Granted, Grant has never sailed a boat before. But in his defense, he was born and raised in the Midwest, hundreds and thousands of miles from any massive body of water. Like many of the people I have met this year, Grant has never shot a crossbow and believe it or not, has “no burning desire” to do so. But he’d be willing, I’m sure, if given the chance. After all, he did volunteer to meet with me for this.
When I asked Grant to describe himself in 10 words or less, these are the three words he came up with. “Mostly friendly, introvert.” We both agreed that would be perfect for a t-shirt. I know plenty of people who could wear that shirt. Designing shirts isn’t in Grant’s wheelhouse. “I’m in the business of solving problems.” But if he had his druthers, he might design furniture. “I like combining wood, metal, stones, and mixing different elements for one-of-a-kind things.” He enjoys furniture that is artistic and yet functional. Not surprising for someone who has a degree in physics. The physicists I’ve met in life or have read about see the artistic beauty of the world differently than most people. That’s what makes them monumental to me. But Grant is also just a regular guy too. He eats his eggs in the morning. He likes his coffee black and strong. He enjoys running. (Well, I don’t actually recall if he said he enjoys it.) It was nice to just talk with him about the books we’re reading, our approach to science and religion, and parenting kids who seem hell bent on setting the house of fire with their own crazy experiments. Again, not surprising for a man whose favorite Muppet is “The one with the wild hair. Animal.” Fun Fact: the mascot at Grant’s High School was a Dragon. Mine was a Crusader. I don’t know who would have won that battle between the two, but if History tells us anything, you can be it would be monumental.
For example, Emma is at San Diego State studying journalism and media studies. “I’m not even sure I want to do that, but I had to pick something, so I wasn’t undecided.” Turns out Emma really just wanted to be at a school near the ocean. This isn’t because she is shallow or short sighted, but because she surfs, and loves the ocean. And when one is trying to figure out one’s life you just have to start where you feel the freest, right?
“How can you choose if I don’t know what I want?” Her question is so logical. Unfortunately, in her world, there’s so much pressure to have your entire life planned out. She is right to suggest that “we should have to do a bunch of different internships so we can so we can find our passion and what we love.” Other than surfing and the beach, Emma loves to paint. In fact, she showed me a colorful fish she painted today. I was impressed. She also thinks it would be cool to do a podcast. And write a book. These are genuine dreams. Real passions. I’ll admit, there was a part of me that wanted to shepherd her, give her advice or help point her in the “right” direction. But instead of trying to be a parent to her, I decided to just ask a bunch of random questions to help Emma see herself, and the world, from a different perspective. Here are some fun facts about Emma that I think help to give her young story some color and texture: ME: If you could be any animal what would it be? Emma: An animal in the water but nothing that can easily get killed. So I guess a dolphin. I also like giraffes, I just don’t want to be one. ME: If you could ask a giraffe a question what would you ask? Emma: I have no idea. But I do think animals hate humans. ME: What was your favorite Halloween costume? Emma: When I was 12 I dressed up like a chef, with this fake mustache and checkered pants. I put flour on my face. But I just really wanted to wear a fake mustache, so I went as a chef. ME: What did you eat for breakfast? Emma: Avocado toast and coffee. It was after I worked out. I did like 40 minutes of aerobic and thought that was enough. So I had breakfast. ME: Who taught you how to drive? Emma: My Uncle Joe. I was like 13. It was in his pickup truck. ME: Have you ever shot a crossbow? Emma: Like a bow and arrow? ME: No, like a crossbow. Emma: Um, then no. Emma is from a town outside Hartford, CT. She is the second of four kids in her family. Her parents divorced right before she started high school. She learned how to surf that following summer, at the beach in Rhode Island. Her favorite color is blue, “Like the ocean.” She may not know what she wants to be but she is leaving herself open to find it. And finds a way to do it. When she moved to California she left her old surfboard behind and bought a new “used” one. “It’s not perfect. It has a lot of dings.” Isn’t that life? We keep moving forward, one wave at a time. Each one will be different and new. Each wave is just a new adventure awaiting. We are not perfect. We all have some dings. But let's not forget each one tells a story about where we've been and what we did. Emma is paddling out to find hers in the chilly waters of the Pacific Ocean. Thankfully, she was smart enough to pack a wetsuit.
A spiritual Bedouin like me, but more so. KC first introduced herself stating “My life is a vacation.” What started as moving around for work lead to a new way of approaching life. By being fluid and free like the wind. Maybe in her Irish roots there’s some nomadic gypsy or wild rover mixed in. Or maybe it’s as simple as “I love constant movement and change.”
Her adventurer spirit is truly a holy spirit. Moving in and through and around the world, KC rarely is one place more than a few months. Having spent her career studying people in the corporate world, KC discovered the world was much more interesting classroom - great people to meet, and interesting things to do. So, she and "my husband of 100 years" moved out of their home and into the world. And they have never looked back. It started with a catamaran in San Diego. “I wanted to sail again, like I did when I was younger.” She was surprised to learn that I too grew up sailing catamarans. They named their boat Lagniappe, which means a little something extra. A little extra joy. A little extra freedom. A little extra life than what we often give ourselves. Eventually the boat was sold, as well as their home and all their stuff back in Indiana. They bought an RV and began to just drive. “I felt homeless.” This would hit KC harder than she thought, but soon she would discover what she always knew and felt. That inside us all is the Spirit of home. “Now I know and can take it [home] anywhere I go.” Today that place is Lake Tahoe, in a foot of snow. Like her 8 year-old grandson recently pointed out, we get to “Choose our own adventure story.” KC likes to begin her adventure stories with a simple question, “What do you want to do today?” For KC, it’s designing her life, her work, and new destinations with the attitude of, “What can I do here that I can’t do anywhere else?” Like our mutual friend who introduced us likes to say, “Now that’s worth doing in needlepoint.” After sharing our stories, uncovering all the things we had in common, and listening with the intension to be fully present in one another’s life, I told KC I could sum her up in one word. Although her eyes seemed thrown off, her smile brighten even more so when she heard me say, “Torah.” The way life was designed and is meant to be lived. I suspect KC had a different idea considering. her favorite Muppet is Oscar the Grouch. “He’s always speaking his truth” (another one worth doing in needlepoint). I am only scratching the surface of all the time and wisdom that KC gifted to me. She is someone who understands the freedom that life offers. And she’s willing to share it; being fully present and filled of love and grace. I like to think that she achieved her goal for the day. “I just want to bring people together, in peace.” And isn’t that really the point of Torah? “When a sailor has another sailor and a half hour what else are we going to talk about but the thrill and depth of life?” As we swapped stories and laughter, I realized that we are all sailors aboard the ship of life. But it takes a special person to stay at the helm. Someone who not only understands the wind but who also has the ability and trust to give over completely to it. In just a few short moments into our conversation with KC, I was already swooped up and swirling around in that flow. And after being knocked down with some hard news, that was exactly where I needed to be.
Jamie was excited to learn about KNOWvember, to hear the story of how it all came about. “I love talking to strangers” and like me, he loves doing it while on vacation. “In Estonia I met the most prolific sperm donor in Great Brittan.” A feat that is nearly impossible to achieve for the variety of reasons as Jamie pointed out.
Jamie and his wife, who everyone calls Lemon, love to travel. It’s something that started relatively late in his life. His first overseas trip was to Croatia, where Jamie was blown away by what he saw, and the food he ate. Again, for an extrovert like Jamie the world is a playground where everyone has the potential to be your next dear friend. It was no surprise that we were introduced by a mutual friend who we both admired for his intelligence and great taste in music. We both meet him on a playground of sorts. For Jamie, it was while playing bocci ball; a passion he and his wife share. For me, the playground was the many concert venues I would frequent. While Bob never taught me anything about bocci, he has certainly turned Jamie and I on to some amazing and very obscure music. Jamie loved music from an early age. He looked up to an older cousin who was in a band and lucked out when he had a college roommate who was a drummer. But it was his friend Jim who’d have the biggest influence on him as an adult. “Jim played jazz at night, and worked for Yahoo in the day.” I think Jamie would agree, meeting cool people is of the perks of being an extrovert who loves to meet people. But music and talking to strangers isn’t the only thing we had in common. For both of us quarantining through the pandemic has been difficult. But we both found partners we love enough to share the same space with every day. “Since I’ve been married I no longer have FOMO (fear of missing out). He is a self-professed “indoor guy” who hails from Rochester, NY but lives in my old stomping grounds of the Dupont Circle neighborhood in Washington DC. He is not a swimmer like I am, but “a sinker” as in he can’t float on water. Which is why he has never sailed a boat before. He’s also never shot a crossbow. Still, he likes the Simpsons (or at least the first 8 seasons). And when asked his favorite Muppet is Beaker, not because he’s anything like the shy, long-suffering laboratory assistant, but because Jamie actually looks like this character; thin, bright red hair, and the constant surprised and shocked look on his expressive face. I wanted to flip the record over and hear the other side, but Jamie had to go. This was probably the quickest hour I’ve had in a long time. I think Jamie would agree. “It feels like we’re hanging out having a beer.” As I was learning all sorts of cool things about Jamie, he was also learning something about me. Something that when he told me, it made me stop and think about myself. “I bet people talk to you a lot. You’re non-judgmental and easy to speak to.” I didn’t need the validation, but it was nice to hear someone point out something about me that I always feel like I struggle with. Apparently, music isn’t the only universal unifier. Kindness, and the willingness to show it, does a pretty good job at bringing people together.
I would quickly discover that her strength would come from the blues she suffered as a child. Nothing I will share because it’s her story, not yours or mine. I can say this, her life and especially the experiences she had in high school “is why I am a teacher.” I think it says a lot about a person who does not allow the past to define them or hold them back. Shaley would achieve this goal, and go on to obtain a graduate degree in Educational Leadership and Policy Studies. “I wanted to help families help their children.” Which brings us to the topic of COVID.
Just before the pandemic, Shaley pressed pause on her career. She needed some time of quiet reflection. And thanks to COVID she had plenty of time to reflect. This has led her to rewrite her plan. “COVID could be a ripe opportunity for a huge sea change in education.” Setting aside the politics of this virus, we both see this as a time for kids to wrestle with real world problems in defining this time in their lives. As a high school senior, Shaley discovered she could sing. She tried out for a performance at the local theater and landed a big role in a musical. It was there “Someone told me I had potential.” I might not sound like much, but to hear those words from adults helped Shaley develop both her voice, and her desire to help kids find theirs. As a self-proclaimed introvert, Shaley spoke freely, confidently, and more important honestly about her life. Again, it’s her story and her tears. But here are a few things that will help you get to know her, and maybe even relate to her. For someone who grew up in a time and place where shooting riffles was a part of P.E. class, Shaley has never shot a crossbow. She’d be willing, but not at animals. She also ate pizza for breakfast. It was left over from the day before when she and her husband watched football all day. And yes, she watches football because she enjoys spending time with her husband. “I never liked sports, but quarantining changed all that. Now I watch it religiously. I getting to know the player’s names and their stories.” I think Patrick Mahomes of the Kansas City Chiefs might also have something to do with her new found passion. The last book she read, and highly suggests me to read next, was Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine, by Scottish author Gail Honeyman. It’s about “a social misfit with a traumatic past who becomes enamored of a singer, whom she believes she is destined to be with.” I suggested Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal. It’s a novel by Christopher Moore that seeks to fill in the details of those “lost years” of Jesus as remembered by his friend, “Levi bar Alphaeus who is called Biff.” Two stories of misfits, shared by two misfits, from two different worlds. Shaley asked me if I had ever “run into people you wish you didn’t meet for this (KNOWvember)?” Like I told her, and as I discovered, everyone has a likeable quality. Which got us talking about something other than COVID or politics. Mind you, Shaley is an educator. Someone who has taught English. She is the type of person you don’t want to hear her ask, “Who do you write your blog for?” In that moment, all I could think about where the red marks of a teacher’s pen correcting my grammar and spelling. In confessing it was really just for myself, like a diary of sorts, Shaley said “It feels like a rough draft.” Had I been in high school, and she been my teacher, I think I would have gotten defensive (or more defensive in case I was and didn’t realize it). But Shaley is good at finding people’s potential and helping them see it in themselves as well. And it got me thinking. We are nothing more than rough drafts; constantly improving upon our story. We all have scars, and wounds that can either lift us up or knock us down; some of us are “red” and some of us are “blue;” small town or big city; introvert or extrovert everyone has a likable quality. Shaley and I are no longer strangers. We are rough drafts in the throws of writing the greatest story ever told. I don’t have that answer. Suffering hurts. Suffering sucks. But for some reason we all have to go through it. I wish we didn't but we do. I wish we could figure out a way to say goodbye to people we love without it shattering our hearts and throwing our world in the chaos. I wish we didn’t break so easily. But we do. And I don't know why. When we break, I know someone or something sweeps us up and puts the pieces back together. Although we are never the same. Maybe that's the point.
What I didn’t know was her voice, her mannerisms, her passions or dreams. I didn’t even know if she had shot a crossbow or ever wanted to! (Turns out she as not nor does not have any interest in even trying)
I didn't know if Laura knew that she’d fall in love when she and a college friend moved to her new hometown of Philadelphia. “It’s a small big city. Lots of diversity” is not what comes to my mind when I think of her town. I think Liberty Bell, Ben Franklin, and some of the most loyal sports fan ever (they’re still trying to shake the reputation as the fans who pelted Santa with snowballs). For Laura and her husband, it’s home. The place where their love flourishes. It’s also where they’re involved in the theater scene, enjoy the annual “Pi” festival at their friend’s house, and where Laura has shaken the label PK to create a version of herself that is solely her own. No matter how much her mom told me about her, I had no idea that Laura would sparkle and shine when she spoke about her fundraising job for the Ronald McDonald House. If there is any fun in fundraising, Laura seems to be the kind of person who would find it. Just as she loves her town, she also loves to write grants, meet with new people and form lasting relationships. In speaking of her job she said, “It’s easy for me to invest in because I get to see the value every day.” I'd venture to say that would sum up her entire way of seeing life. I did find out something that her parents probably didn't know. That is what she ate for breakfast today – an Eggo waffle. I also found out that she loves to dress up for Halloween. “I have a very agreeable husband” who, in their four short years of marriage, has been all sorts of character couples. "He's been Elmer Fudd to my Bugs Bunny." I believe you can learn a lot from a person by the kind of people they attract. And by what they value. Case in point, Laura's favorite Muppet is Fozzy the Bear. “First I love teddy bears. But I also like how his jokes are an equal opportunity for all people to laugh. The family jokes we hold on to have come from Fozzy.” Like this puppet bear, Laura has a way of bringing people together for a purpose, be it to raise money or just a little mischief to keep life interesting. I’m not sure which of her parents Laura reminds me of. She looks like her mother, with a soft gentle smile and eyes that are focused on life. Yet, she has the soft soul of her father and shares his passion for family history and yes, maps. Like them both, Laura knows the value of life and what it takes to sustain it. But after we said our “thank you’s” and “goodbyes,” I began to think it’s just a part of her DNA. The more people I meet in this social experiment, the more I discover that we all share a common bond. For Laura and I it might be her parents, but in reality its bigger than that. She might live in the city of brotherly love, but we all live in a state of grace, a spirit of kindness, and the light of the divine that is lit within us all. All you have to do is meet Laura to see how true that really is.
When Jesus told this story, he was in the middle of his own high-risk venture. He’s left Galilee for Jerusalem where in just a few days he will be executed on a Roman cross. So they don’t lose hope, Jesus tells his disciples a series of eschatological parables; stories that will prepare them for what is to come.
Last week it was about Ten Bridesmaids. Today, it’s Three Men and their Talents. When our modern ears hear the word talent, we often think of someone who has a skill or certain ability. My wife is a talented singer. Or my son has a talent for getting out of trouble. But in 1st Century Palestine, a talent was something different. Back then, it was a large sum of money; roughly 15 year’s worth of wages for the average laborer. For someone to give these men even one talent would mean they were entrusting them with a huge fortune. The parable isn’t about money or ability. It’s about something even more important. It’s about trust. The master trusts his investments with these men. And does so without giving them any instructions on what to do with it. The first guy takes it and invests in a high-risk venture. The second dumps it into the stock market. Both men do very well; doubling their master’s money. The third guy takes a very different approach. Instead of taking a risk he buried the money in the ground, a common security measure in ancient times. Given the volatility of the market these days, and the way this pandemic is affecting the economy it might seem like a wise investment plan. But that’s not the reason he gives. Instead he confesses he was afraid of the master. Because he had zero trust in the one who trusted him, he took zero financial risk. And as a result got nothing in return. Again, this parable isn’t about money or one’s ability to acquire wealth. It’s about trusting God who first trusted us. To be prepared for Christ to return, we need to trust God by doing God’s will. That’s what the first two do. They take a chance in their faith and as a result they both receive the same praise. And the same invitation: “Well done, good and trustworthy servant…enter into the joy of your master.” To be fair, I think the master would have responded just the same had they risked it all and come back empty handed. After all, he doesn’t commend them for their profits, but their faithfulness. The master made it clear that he would have accepted anything – even the measly interest you get at the bank – had the intent had been motivated by faith rather than fear. This is a good lesson for us all. Fear has no value, other than it drives us to our downfall like it did to this man. As someone once said, “The God we face is the one we imagine.” Faith on the other hand is invaluable. In giving his fortune to these three men, the master reveals his faith, and trustworthiness. He’s not terrible and appalling like the fearful man saw him to be. Given his response to the first two, it seems the master is more interested in the well-being of his workers than making a profit for himself. That’s the portrait of God that Jesus paints for us. The first two men see this and take the risk without any promise of gaining anything in return. They have some faith and run with it. The third guy has none, and loses out. This parable is about our trust in God just as it is about God’s trust in us. It’s about our faithfulness to God who has faith in us. This begs the question: Can we trust in God’s faithfulness to be faithful to God? This parable makes it clear in that if you focus on your fears, allowing your worry and anxieties to make your decisions then your fears will be realized. If you focus on your faith, stepping out of your comfort zone, knowing and trusting in God’s faithfulness then your faith will only increase.
watch the message here
I don’t think Jesus is telling this parable to his disciples to scare them. I think he wants to know if they can trust God enough to carry on his ministry when he is gone. Will they invest in the kingdom of heaven by investing their hearts in the gospel? Will they risk it all to care deeply and profoundly for all of God’s children? We must ask ourselves this same question. Are we willing to invest and risk it all – trusting the one who first trusted us?
Like Jesus points out, and will further explain in the next parable, this is how we too enter into the joy of God. Risking your life by loving and caring for the least of these our brothers and sisters. Faithful living is not static. It takes getting involved and taking risks. It’s easy to claim faith and to bury it in the ground... doing nothing to increase it. This past presidential election revealed to me the fear of so many Christians, who claim to follow Christ, who seem to know what faithful living looks like, and yet hesitate or refuse to live it. Instead of trusting Christ faithfully, they put their trust a person who has nothing to do with him. Today is a good time to look at your own actions, and ask yourself what are you investing in? Faith is a high-risk venture. It’s not some insurance plan you take out for the hereafter. Faith isn’t so much believing ideas about Jesus as it is about following him and doing what he did. And the only way to really do that is by trusting God so completely that you can go all in faithfully and fearlessly as you carry the presence of Christ everywhere you go. As the disciples will soon discover, living the gospel out loud is a risky venture. But it does pay out in abundance. Jesus gives us the choice. You can choose to be like the fearful servant who gets exactly what fear has to offer: Nothing. Or you can choose to put your trust in God’s faithfulness, and reap the rewards that come with being like God’s most faithful child. Jesus risked it all by going to Jerusalem and living faithfully to the will of God. He taught us that life is a risk one must take on faith, and not fear. Moreover, what turns out to be important is not our ability to make sound financial investments but our willingness to invest profoundly in our soul. At the end of the day, life is not about what we accomplished but whether we learned to trust God enough to be faithful with our love. It’s a high-risk investment where the only ones who lose it all are the ones who dare to put nothing in. Work Cited Bartlett, David L and Barbara Brown Taylor, eds. Feasting on the Word, Year A Vol. 4. (Louisville: Westminster John Knox, 2011) pp. 308-313. Inspired by a sermon from Charles H. Hoffacker, Trust, Not Fear. https://episcopalchurch.org/library/sermon/trust-not-fear-proper-28-–-2014 (accessed on 11-12-2020).
He knew stuff about me, I’m sure. Like I was his friend’s dad, and that I was desperate to meet someone today. Like I had welcomed him into our home, Lou welcomed me into his heart; giving me a wonderful glimpse into his life, his goals, and his values.
With deft confidence, Lou began to talk about college life, the move and experience, his classes and the effort he is putting in. He spoke of his independence and freedom and the balance of school and life. He seemed genuinely excited, even if it felt like he was hired by the school to talk to perspective students. We shared our stories about our first trip to Southern California. For me it was to surf. For Lou, it was to do another mission trip. For both of us, “It was like looking into a bright light after coming out of a dark room.” Different landscape, different buildings and shops, and different people than what we were used to. Lou told me a story about an asylum seeker living in a shelter across the border in Tijuana. “I met a guy my age and heard his story of survival. It was like looking in a mirror at a life that was parallel to mine, but polar opposite. I wouldn’t be able to cross back over the border as the same person. After that trip I knew that I wanted to help people.” It sounded like an essay one might write for a college application. I would discover that’s exactly what it was. But this is Lou’s story, and there’s so much more to it. Like so many of us, Lou struggled to figure himself out. “I was the overweight kid in my class.” Faced with growing health problems, “I took the time to fix me.” He began to make radical changes in his life, starting with exercise and then his diet. Since high school, Lou has been cooking his own meals so he could know all that was going into his body. As it is with so many freshman, myself included, diet is one of the least important things happening in your life. This morning Lou had mashed sweet potatoes and ground turkey as a pre-workout meal. I had cinnamon toast. I have a weakness for filling my stomach with garbage, like Lou’s favorite Muppet…Oscar the Grouch. “I like his impromptuness.” I found this most interesting because Oscar the Grouch does not value relationships like Lou does. Whether they are interpersonal, or with family, friends or with God, Lou is attracted to people who share this value. He considers himself to be an optimist which is strengthened by his willingness to adapt to life situations. “I don’t want to come out of the pandemic with any regrets.” I like this most about Lou. He takes nothing for granted, and seeks opportunities to better himself so that he can better the world. I know for a fact he did that for me tonight. Showing up exactly when needed. He may not have been who I set out to meet, but to take a cue from Lou, I was optimistic and willing to adapt. Because of it, I formed a wonderful relationship with this amazing young man. Life surprises us like this. We have to be willing and ready to go with wherever it leads us. Who knows who you will meet along the way. And just for the record, Lou has never shot a crossbow but would love to. |
Ian MacdonaldAn ex-copywriter turned punk rock pastor and peacemaker who dedicates his life to making the world a better place for all humanity. "that they all might be one" ~John 17:21“Prius vita quam doctrina.”
~ St. Thomas Aquinas (1225–1274) * “Life is more important than doctrine.”
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