The Big Ten: Covet

When we covet, we create distance. We turn neighbors into competitors, community into a zero-sum game. But when we love, we close the gap between us. We rejoice in another’s good.

​The other day, while killing time (and brain cells) I stumbled across a video of an attractive woman standing on a very attractive beach in a very small, very shiny bikini. As she talked to the camera, the filters on her began to disappear.

First her make-up. Then her body shape. Next her golden tan, and so on until she looked…well, no different than you or me.

I’m not going to lie, had it not been for those filters, I think I would’ve kept scrolling. Which is exactly what behavioral scientist have been warning us for years. ​

​​How social media uses algorithms to grab our attention and warp our perception—of others and ourselves.

​You know what I’m talking about. That feeling you get when you see a post of a classmate who doesn’t seem to age. Or a co-worker who travels more in a weekend than you’ve managed in a decade.
 
It’s amazing how quickly our hearts and minds can go from admiration to envy. And always leaving us feeling a little “less than” because of what someone else has. Before you know it, you’ve broken the tenth commandment.​

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female slave, ox, donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”               
                                                                         - Exodus 20:17

​Like some of the earlier commandments we’ve looked at, when I read this one I think I’m in good shape. I’m content with my wife and house. And I don’t know anyone who has a donkey or slave that I’d want to own. But that doesn’t let any of us off the hook.
 
After nine commands about what to do or not do, this one sneaks inward like a thief at night and rummages around those secret hiding places in our hearts. And that should make us all a little uncomfortable.
 
With each commandment we’ve learn a new Hebrew word. Today’s is ḥāmad. Which means to desire intensely, to take delight in. It’s the same word used when Eve saw that the forbidden fruit “was pleasing to the eye.”
 
This isn’t suggesting that ḥāmad is bad thing. Our desire for beauty, connection, purpose and love are a part of our divine DNA. God given if for no other reason than to get us out of bed in the morning.

The problem isn’t delight. It’s discontent. When that divine longing chases after what will never truly satisfy.
 
Now, in ancient Israel, where folks shared land and resources, coveting what belonged to someone else disrupted the harmony of the community. It could unravel trust and breed envy, jealously, and eventually violence.

I would argue this still rings true today. Only now you don’t have to peek over the fence anymore—just scroll on your phone in bed. Your neighbor’s house has been replaced by their vacation reel. Their donkey, a kitchen remodel. Their spouse, a filtered post captioned #grateful.

This last commandment reveals how easy coveting shows up in so many different ways. Often without us giving it a second thought.
 
It hits us emotionally. When we wish we had someone’s else’s life, instead of cultivating the one God planted in us. It shows up physically when we chase after someone else’s image; forgetting that to God each person is a sacred temple, not a side project.
 
There have been times when I’ve hāmad another’s spirituality—the clarity of their faith, their confidence in their belief, their closeness to God. Coveting makes it easy for us to forget that holiness isn’t mass-produced. Each soul is a unique part of God’s deep desire for this world.
 
There’s a Buddhist teaching that says, “The mind that seeks more is the mind that suffers.” That suffering begins the moment desire stops being delight. And turns into discontent. When we start believing peace lies somewhere outside of us instead of within.
 
Jesus tells his followers, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt. 6:21).

Our treasure isn’t what we hold in our hands, but what we possess in our heart - the richness of God’s steadfast love and grace. This tells me that coveting doesn’t end when you finally get what you want. It ends when you love what you have.
 
In Luke’s gospel, Jesus warns, “Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of possessions” (Luke 12:14).

He then tells a parable of a man who has an overly abundant harvest. The kind that would set him up financially for years. So, instead of sharing his surplus with his community, he builds a bigger barn to hoard it all for himself. As fate would have it, the man dies the day it’s finished.
 
In this story, Jesus reveals the truth hidden in this commandment: God gives us all that we need. Because God’s economy runs on abundance, not accumulation. Life isn’t measured by what you store, but by what you share.

When our heart’s focused on comparison, we only see what we lack. Which causes us to cling tightly to whatever we have. But when our heart is shaped by God’s abundant love, we are able to see that what we have is all that we need.
 
The mystic Meister Eckhart said, “God is not found in the soul by adding anything, but by a process of subtraction.” Coveting is addition — more stuff, more approval, more control. Love is subtraction — less fear, less judgment, less ego.
​
When we covet, we create distance. We turn neighbors into competitors, community into a zero-sum game. But when we love, we close the gap between us. We rejoice in another’s good. We see blessing not as a pie to be divided, but as a gift to be shared.
 
There’s a Hasidic proverb that asks: “Who is rich?” The answer is “The one who rejoices in what he has.”

So how do we faithfully rejoice with contentment in a world that constantly tells us “You deserve more”?
 
A good place to start is practicing “enoughness.”  What Richard Rohr might say, is waking up to the truth that we already live in God’s abundance. We don’t earn love or accumulate our worth—it’s already in us. A gift, freely given. And when we know that, we stop grasping and start giving.
 
The art of enoughness is seeing the world through the eyes of love, not lack. It’s hearing the quiet voice of God whisper, “You are my beloved. You have all you need.”

​Enoughness gives birth to gratitude. And gratitude moves us from living in a place of lack to a place of love.
 
When love takes root, we stop comparing and start connecting; sharing what we have … knowing we’ll receive even more out of the abundance that God has woven into creation.

When we live like this, we become the living proof that God’s kingdom isn’t some far-off dream. It’s right here, in the intense desire of our heart where love begets more love.
 
Eckhart warned, coveting “closes the eye of the heart, so that one no longer sees God shining through all things.”

​Like I said, coveting causes envy. And envy blinds us from seeing the divine image in the other. Envy turns them into an object, a rival, a threat. But when we see people the way God sees them, we no longer see enemies but friends; not competitors but companions.
 
This is how we build a community of love— … the very thing these commandments are protecting. A community that can fearlessly and faithfully love and serve God and each other. 

More than just a call to stop comparing, the tenth commandment is a way to start caring.
 
Which makes it the perfect one to end on because it ties all the other commandments together. If you don’t covet, you won’t steal. If you don’t covet, you won’t commit adultery, you won’t bear false witness, or dishonor your parents. Embracing our enoughness is how we testify to God’s glory. And make every day holy.
 
Each of the Big Ten is an invitation — to come home to honor God by honoring your life, just as it is. But this final one invites you to open the eyes of your heart, trusting God is enough. And so are you. 

So today, as you look around your kitchen, your neighborhood, your messy little corner of the world, be grateful for all that you have. Like Moses said, “If you live like this, your life will be blessed.”
 
So let’s go out into the world, living and sharing our blessings, both big and small. Let’s go into this week content, with grateful hearts building a community of love together in the space between all that we have and all that we need.

For this is where God meets us. When God is with us, we have all that we need to bless one another.