$h!t Jesus Says, Part 3: Family

Although we all come from different backgrounds and hold different opinions and politics, Jesus reminds us that in God’s family, we are all equals.

It’s Father’s Day, one of those bittersweet holidays where guys like me are celebrated even if it means forcing our kids to do so.
 
It should go without saying that throughout history, fathers have played an important role in the family unit.

That’s because, outside of the immaculate conception, it takes one to begin a family. Thanks to modern science, all that has changed.

​No longer is fatherhood, or the family for that matter, tied to biology.

​I suppose this is a good thing. Some of us don’t have good dads in their lives. Many don’t even know who their dad is or where they are. Your father might not be around anymore. Or you never had the opportunity to have children of your own to celebrate you today.

So, instead of going on about fathers, let’s continue to look at the shit Jesus says. And see how it challenges our conventional wisdom.
 
Remember, Jesus wants us to expand our thinking beyond our narrow gaze. Which seems all fine and dandy until you find yourself on the receiving end of his critique. I suppose this will be most of us today as Jesus confronts what nearly all Christians would consider a sacred cow.

The conventional wisdom and power of family.

While he was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and his brothers were standing outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” But to the one who had told him this, Jesus replied, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers!  For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”                     - Matthew 12:46-50. -

Here we have Jesus teaching in his hometown, inside a packed house where more people are trying to get inside, perhaps to get close enough to hear what he’s saying or to be healed by him. His family is there too, somewhere in the crowd. We assume Jesus doesn’t know this because someone interrupts him to let him know what’s going on.
 
Now if my daughter came and told me my parents were here, I’d probably respond by saying, “Where are they?”

​This isn’t what Jesus does. He asks a rhetorical question, “Who is my mother? Who are brothers?” It might seem innocent to us, but this would have been a shocking thing to say to a culture based on tribe, kinship and family.
 
I’m sure it offended many, including his siblings. But like I have said before, Jesus isn’t out to offend anyone. His goal isn’t to shame or guilt, but to expand our understanding of ourselves in relationship to God and others. In this case, he is showing us a new way to see beyond the narrow confines of biology.
 
Jesus asks, “Who is my family,” and he doesn’t wait for anyone to answer. He just points to the crowd and says, “You are.” And before anyone can ask what he means, Jesus adds, “Anyone who does the will of my Father is my family.”  

Never mind he calls God his father, we’ll save that for another time. Jesus has just proclaimed something equally as radical - that God is for anyone and everyone.

God’s family is universal. It’s based on love and trust, not bloodline or tribal affiliation. And the way into this family isn’t through a religious system, but through faith in action. This has been the story since the beginning…or at least to Abraham who, as scripture tells us, God chose because of his faith and faithfulness, not blood or biology.
 
We also see it in Mary and Joseph whom Richard Rohr describes as “two laypeople who totally trusted their inner experience of God and followed it...with no one except God to reassure them they were right."

He argues that by faithfully submitting to the will of God, Mary and Joseph each defiled their cultural conditionings. And stepped out their religious "comfort zones" so God could create a new kind family through them - one that looks more like heaven than earth.
 
Today we have multicultural and multiracial families, blended families, traditional families, and same sex families. None of this seems shocking anymore. For the most part, all of these types of families begin from a place of love and respect; being bonded and starting a family with the person they care deeply for. In Jesus’ day, it wasn’t about love but economics and power. Marriages were arranged to either keep your status or extend it. And kids were a little more than insurance policies for that.
 
In first-century Palestine, your family was your primary social capitol. Everyone you interacted with, did business with, and worshipped with had roots that were deeply embedded in who you were. Your family name meant everything. Your value as a human was based on it. One doesn’t just simply walk away or abandon theirs. Now here’s Jesus saying none of it matters. And I’m sure it took a few people by surprise.
 
There’s a story in Mark’s gospel where a rich, young businessman wants to become a disciple. Jesus tells him to “sell everything you own and give the money to the poor. Then you can follow me” (Mark 10:17-27)
 
The man walked away distraught - and for good reason. More than just getting rid of the business he’s built, or the property he owns, or the money he has, Jesus is effectively telling him to abandon his family name if he wants to claim this new one called “disciple.”

​Who here would give up every last bit of yourself, For the name Christian?

Although Jesus pushes the boundaries of our conventional wisdom, it’s not all for nothing. Jesus says, “Everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake…will inherit eternal life” (Matthew 19:29). This was a powerful thing to say.
 
In a time when a good family name bought you certain privileges, Jesus turns our conventional wisdom upside down. He takes all its power and places it back where it belongs - with God.

He tells us “not to store your treasures on earth where moths, rust and thieves can destroy them.” Instead, “Store your treasure in heaven” where your value is no longer tied to who you are, but by what you do.

​Jesus understands all the dynamics of family; he obviously had one, and probably  had to deal with the pettiness of sibling rivalry. He knows how being part of a community like family requires constant attention and patience, as well as steadfast love and forgiveness.

The church is no different. Although we all come from different backgrounds and hold different opinions and politics, Jesus reminds us that in God’s family, we are all equals.

We must set aside our petty differences and family squabbles, and bend to the will of God. According to the prophet Micah who asked: “What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8).

Jesus wants mercy and justice, kindness and love, be our new names, not Jew or Gentile, not sinner or saint. When our name is synonymous to God’s inclusive love, then we know we’re doing God’s will.

​Faith is not passive. It’s love in action. It must be live it out as if it’s the only thing that keeps us alive. For we cannot love God without loving others and serving both.

Jesus says, “the one who believes in me will also do the things I do and in fact, will do greater things than me” (John 14:12). Here Jesus seems to be saying that God believe in us. But do we believe in God enough to follow his Son to actually put our faith in what he says? And do what he does?

As challenging this might seem, let’s not forget we have God’s divine DNA embedded deeply within us. While we may not get to pick our earthly family, we all can become a part of God’s family. Jesus says, “All who receive me… become children of God, …born not out of human will, but God’s will” (John 1:12-13).

In John’s gospel, Jesu describes God’s will simply as this, “Love one another as I have loved you.” And then he adds, “there is no greater love than to lay downs one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:12-13)

That is the power of love - faith in action. The more we live it out, the more likely we are to reconcile than retaliate; seek peace instead of conflict; or give of ourselves for the common good instead of taking for personal gain.

​The more we live out God’s love, the more we realize who we truly are. We are God’s beloved children.

So, it goes without saying that the only Father we should celebrate, today and every day, is Our Father, who art in heaven. And the best way we can honor and dote on God is by welcoming and loving everyone as your mother, brother, and sister.


Work Cited
Rohr, Richard. The Prophetic Holy Family homily on Christmas Day 2023. (Accessed on June 15, 2024).